No Colors Allowed!

I will keep this very short. I need to understand why is that this year all fall/winter clothes are only black or gray! It seems like having any sort of color is some sort of sin! I need my purples, blues, greens, and pinks to coordinate with my black! However no matter in which store I go it seems they can only offer sweaters, pants and shirts in a melange of shades that goes from black to gray to sepia as the "wildest" of all. Are they trying to make us more conservative? Are they trying to make us all look the same? Is it a conspiracy to force us to be bland and blend amongst each other? Did they run out of colors in the dye shop they probably abuse in China or India? I protest! I want some colors in the shops, or I might be forced to go 1980's vintage on all of you and look like a fool (which of course I'm not afraid of).

My 2010

I can't believe this year is almost gone. It has been such a new cycle of my life. I moved for the first time by myself to a city where I knew absolutely nobody. In less than a year I can say it has been rich of positive surprises. I met some great people I already consider good friends I adore. Most of these people are actually my co-workers, which means I also really enjoy my new job. I even fell in love with my new apartment and its surroundings.
I admit that the last couple of years have not been easy. I left all my beloved friends behind to be closer to my family, and it was truly heart-breaking at first. But I can say now that leaping into a new adventure has had very good results. I am a strong believer that change is good, and if you don't like it... well you just go on and change it again until you find a place, a role, a pace that you enjoy. Nothing is coincidental, everything in my life has happened for a reason... although I have always been conscious to be the one who choreographed my moves.
Short and sweet, my thoughts about 2010? I feel like the luckiest mutherfu#%er! Why? Because aside from anything material which is useless in my philosophy, no matter where in the world I have lived for long or short times I have always been blessed to meet some of the most amazing people in my life. This note is for all of you my Love Bugs all over the globe. I love you all and I am so thankful to have you in my life! The connection I have with my "Circle of Trust" is the most beautiful gift on earth! Thank you and smooches to you all!

Winter Rant...

Some of you might want to correct me by stating "it's not winter yet...", but in my opinion due to the freezing temperatures it's full winter. For goodness' sake it has already snowed three times! I have come to the conclusion that winter is the most high maintenance season of all. This is my list of things I need to worry about in this weather (something I had never really thought about my past years spent in the "tropics").


CLOTHES & SHOES
OMG! I know I have a thing already for shopping and a pure obsession for shoes... but in winter (especially if you live in fashionable Milan), you need to triple you shopping sprees! Let's start with the shoes, you need at least one pair of (if in fake leather even better in my opinion): one flat boot in black leather, one flat boot in brown leather, one high heels black leather, one higher black vinyl, one platform gray suede boot, one "UGGly" boot, one snow/water repellent boot, one half calf faux-fur lined suede boot, one rubber boot, one black lace up high heels, one purple high heel (or whichever color you like), a couple of pairs of shoes to go out at night, running shoes to keep in shape at the gym, and always a last minute shoe to match the latest outfit.
As you have now collected at least 19 pair of boots... you need to have all of your pants tight enough to fit inside of them! Well, now you have to forget about your boot cut jeans and prepare to squeeze into skinny jeans, skinny jockey's style pants, leggings of various colors to match your wide range collection of sweater-dresses! Of course you also need to have several types of jackets and coats... you need at least one that is water-proof, one that is super warm, a black or gray wool coat, a wind breaker, and something cute and fun to go out at night. Aren't we forgetting something? Hats, scarves and gloves! Make sure to have enough to match your coats and outfits. This is exhausting, and additionally you can barely move once you are all wrapped in layers of fabric just like an spring roll! I was obviously not born for such climate. I love feeling the breeze on my skin and having very little clothing on me... surprisingly though, I actually don't hate the cold. Maybe because it is sort of new to me. I just realize that my wardrobe has to expand exaggeratedly.


However I do need to really complaint about something. I really can't STAND, in fact I HATE women who "need" to have any sort of real fur on their clothing! Being the animal lover that I am, I find it ridiculous, cruel and absurd that nowadays those women still insists on wanting to cover themselves with the fur of innocent dead creatures! Why? There are plenty of materials that will keep you just as warm. Plus it looks disgusting! It really angers me to no end! I can't believe that farming animals for their fur is still legal.

MAKE-UP & HAIR
In summer my make-up consists of eye-liner, shadow, mascara and little shimmer. Sorry, that does not work now! Suddenly my skin is overly dry and sucks up the moisturizer in ultra-sonic speed! Plus the chilly air makes me blotchy and red... so I need to get a good foundation. All in a sudden my simple make up routine has turned into a professional photo shoot "painting job"! Even my hair is rebelling to the weather condition, and it now requires all sort of moisturizing and protective products. I admit I even bought a hair dryer!!!

FOOD & EXERCISE
The cold also makes you crave warm and starchy foods, which of course are not nice if they start to settle on you like little hanging mini tacos! But can you really eat salads in winter? I can't! Therefore to maintain a decent shape you must exercise. Here one more proof that this is a high maintenance season. In summer you can go for a run in the park, go swimming in the sea or the pool... now you need to go to a gym. Once you sign up you are ready to enter a whole new world of ways to spend money (additionally to the gym's subscription). One quick glance at the classes calendar is enough to convince me I "must" take: flamenco, capoeira, yoga, spinning, aqua gym... and guess what? I need a whole wardrobe for those too!!!


SPORTS & GETAWAYS
Awww the mountains! How about learning to snowboard and then liking it? This will possibly involve buying snow boots, pants, coat, glasses, gloves, a snowboard and boots (which you can rent as well), a sky pass, the lessons, and enough cash for the post-snowboard drinks by the refuge...

At this pace I might need to get a part time job on the side to absorb all these wild wonder winter expenses... or maybe next time I should move somewhere like Maldives where all I would need to wear is a bikini and sunscreen.

Appearances are VERY misleading!

Yesterday morning I was cheerfully walking back home from my grocery shopping extravaganza. I was on a main street buzzing with people and vehicles right by my house. I was slowly walking enjoying and absorbing everything I saw and encountered. Suddenly a brand spanking new Audi pulls over the sidewalk. The passenger door opens up and a very well dressed and elegant woman steps out. She is slim, with perfectly coiffed bleached blond hair and make up, she is wearing designer trendy clothing and high heels. She opens up the back passenger door and a lovely little girl covered in designer clothes matching her mommy jumps out. I instinctively glance over at the driver seat to reveal the image of the husband/father in his perfectly pressed shirt and confident posture... I think to myself with a pinch of envy (which is very unusual of me), I think "Wow, look at them! they are the perfect family, with the perfect jobs, the perfect car, the perfect daughter... is it real?". They seemed like they had come out from a glossy magazine ad. I interrupt my fantasizing about them, and tune into the reality of what they are doing... 'cause I'm nosy! The "lady" has stepped right in the middle of the sidewalk and she is holding her daughter in a very awkward way... while telling her "come on love, you will do it just like puppy dogs do! come on, like a woof woof!". To my awful surprise she is pulling her little girls pants down to her ankles and ordering her to pee in the middle of the sidewalk!!! Not to mention it's freaking COLD! And there are people walking by, cars... and how about a cafe' and three restaurants right there! Couldn't she have taken her to use the cafe's restroom? I have never seen even the gypsies do that! You better believe I gave her a dirty look! It's not about being prude, it's about manners and not treating your 4 year old little girl as a dog! Needless to say my myth of the perfect family instantly crashed... at least in the human genre... I have more faith in the baboons' perfect family!

USA men vs Italian men

A few days ago I was having a conversations with some Italian girlfriends of mine. I was stating that the majority of my friends are usually men; I feel more comfortable around them, I trust them more, and I don't have to worry about hurting their feelings if I need to confront them about something. Then I also have a minority of great girlfriends too that out stand from the rest of the "female crowd". It just seems (please know I'm talking out of my own experience therefore my statements are purely personal), as I was saying: it just seems that a lot of times I have had a girlfriend the friendship has often ended up badly due to jealousy, hypocrisy, or falseness. Are women intimidated by me? The dumb ones of course! I guess that involuntarily I shake the worst behaviors towards my own person out of some females! This is something I had to start experiencing since childhood, my male teachers and male school mates always loved me... my female teachers and female school mates could not stand me! I am talking in percentage of course.
As I was saying I have always had wonderful honest friendships with men, whether they are straight or gay. It's not just about partying, good and strong friendship are formed by exchanging stories, asking for moral support, advise, having hours long conversations about anything from physics to politics, or society and nature, human behavior or just plainly venting about your day or family.
My two Italian girlfriends after hearing me say all this, they looked at me as if I was delusional and some mad spirit was talking through my mouth! At which point they asked me: "Are you talking about your friends in the US?".... well I guess that after living abroad for the past 15 years most of my friends are actually not Italian... which makes me feel strange... but that is a whole other story and blog I will need to write about.
From what they stated in Italy is not possible for a man and a woman to have a sincere friendship (that is ABSURD to me!). Additionally they said that men are very boring to be friends with as they don't read anything, they only watch soccer on tv, and talk about T&A... that is the description of a cave-man! Can Italian men have regressed to this point? Really? This country has given birth to some of the most amazing geniuses... yet our average man is only interested in looking at a ball rolling on a field or staring at some big hooters? What happened to the theory of the Ugly American? Has it reversed? Are American men the new intellectuals? And we have now a new breed of Ugly Europeans? That is terrifying!!! I don't like that one bit! I will need to research this further. While I will do so, I would like to calm some of you down by guaranteeing that no matter what fortunately the gays are safe! It seems to me that gay men are brilliant, cultured and wonderful to talk to not matter on which side of the Atlantic you are on. Once one is a fruit fly, she will be one forever no matter where she is!

Dreams in two or three levels are my reality!

Any of my close friends know how fascinated and passionate I am about "dreams". From talking to various people in my life I've come to the realization that I belong to a very exclusive club: "I remember my dreams when I wake up" Club. Every night I look forward to my dream-reality where anything can happen... although I mastered this art so well that I now can change the course of events by "waking up" into another dream! I swear I'm not joking, I'm not drunk nor high!
Needless to say I could not wait to go see "Inception". I was blown away, I think it's pure genius. It's such an intricate and beautifully told story that I doubt the general public really gets it. In fact I would love to run one of my anthropological research tests... to draw the statics of how many people fully got it.
Not knowing how many of you have already seen it, I don't want to spoil it. All want to say is that some details in script freaked me out, because it was so personal and familiar to my own experiences... if someone wrote about it must have gone through the same madness... through the subconscious gateway... a gateway to dreaming in levels like I do.
Aside from the story, I also really enjoyed the acting, the cast is exceptional! What a surprise to see the kid from "3rd rock form the sun" (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) in such a cool role! And of course the magic of Christopher Nolan as a writer and director! What a creative brilliant mind he has... although has anyone noticed that he sort of looks like Leonardo Di Caprio... or is it me? Please take a look:

"The Difficult Love Between Muslims And Non-Believers"

I once again would like to share my thoughts on the last book I've read. It's a very easy reading piece about a man, the writer himself Martino Pillitteri, and his experience of a lifetime in the Islamic world. The original title in Italian "Quando le musulmane preferiscono gli infedeli" (When the Muslim women prefer the unfaithful), I think is such a better title than "The difficult love between Muslims and non-believers". The actual translation calls them "unfaithful", and it's not referred in a way of not being faithful to a partner, but it means to have no faith in Allah, I just think it's way more powerful. On a technical point of view the book is very easy to read although some parts drag a bit, and make you want to scream "I get it! I got the point!". Aside from that the whole story is full of humor and insight in a world that has by now surrounded us all, but maybe we are still so foreign to their life styles. I'm referring to the Islamic countries. We know in theory, we know what we read and hear on the news. But few of us have had the opportunity as the lead character of this book to experience it fully. I'm not talking about taking a trip to Morocco or having a job in Dubai. The story evolves around a young Italian man who loves working and living in NYC and then finds him in Egypt to follow the love of his life.

As soon as Martino starts his romance with the Egyptian beauty, we discover that those women are in charge. Something we don't often think about. They will tell their man when they want to be married, they will make them pay for their dinners and all of their friends' too! I honestly think it's quite funny. But the biggest deal seems to be around faith and religion, and how a non-Muslims must convert in order to be even considered to take part to a family and marry their daughter. Martino makes it look like they are so different from the Western world.... are they really? I'm not so sure! I was just on the bus yesterday, right here in Milan... which is considered to be the most progressive city in Italy. There was a man chatting with the bus driver, he kept on complaining that his daughter "by disgrace" has started to date the son of some Diplomat from the Syrian Embassy. He kept on repeating that although he was a very nice guy, very smart, with a good future ahead career wise... well, he could not stand the fact that he would not convert to become a Catholic!!! Here is the proof that we are all the same! We can wear different clothes, physically cover our faces or not, judge others by their customs... but in the end we all wear some sort of Hijab or Burka that blocks us from fully understanding or fully accepting others.

However I do highly recommend to read his book. It's brilliant, as he shows all the different types of people he has to deal with. Although I would like to point out one more thing before I try not to ruin the story for all of you; I don't understand why he keeps on complaining about how "puritan" and strict they are... from his story he seems to have gotten laid quite a bit from several different Arab girls on his short stay in Egypt... while he was supposed to be engaged to his beautiful Noor. No wonder the doorman of his apartment complex would play tricks on him, such as turn off his hot water! Did that just make you wonder? Nope, nothing to wonder about! Men are Men! They want it, they want it now, and then once they got it they will still complain and pretend to be the ones who got ripped off!

People in my memory wait in stillness.

I probably am not the only one who has experienced this strange feeling. There have been times I have said goodbye to a friend, even if just for the night or even if it was meant to be a 'see you later' sometime in the future (due to my multiple moves), and starting from a few moments later they are in dragged into my present and months to come... I still picture that person exactly where I left them. Whether they were by a sidewalk, or on the door of their house, or at a party. Somehow I'm unable to disconnect to that last image I have had of them. I maybe romantically and absurdly convince myself that they will be exactly where I left them. I'm talking about all my friends I have spread around the globe. They don't age, they don't move from where I last saw them, they just sit still like a photograph on a shelf waiting to be picked up and dusted.

What just made me think of this? I've been aware of this way of thinking of mine for a while. Maybe it's a some sort of shield I use to protect myself. As long I believe my loved ones are exactly where I left them I have no worries. I will miss them but I will find them back in the exact same shape and location... maybe it's my obsessive compulsive disorder that surfaces even in my way of remembering people.

I once again ask myself: What made me think of this? Believe it or not that monster tool called Facebook is to blame! As you all know it loves to give you a preview of people you might know. Well I accidentally saw some people I used to know... and to my surprise... TOTAL SURPRISE!!!.... their children who were born right before I moved abroad... they are now almost 20 years old! WTF??? Weren't they supposed to stay babies forever? This is what happened before the Facebook era. You just were clueless of the time going by. Everything remained the same as you left it and survived in your memory in a dream like ever green state. Not anymore, now all these social networks have to remind me that time does go by, people change, they move, they even grow up without my permission!!!

I'm not sure I like all this technology sometime. Now I feel old... which makes me feel restless. Why can't we stop time? Why can't we time travel? I feel like all the people I know have a clone who still and always will live in my memory universe where nothing ever ages.

Are Classy Places Just So Trashy?

Have you ever noticed how the classiest and most elite places at some point always end up attracting the trashiest crowd? If a place is a dive from the beginning, it will remain a dive forever, there is no chance that it will upgrade to be a "creme de la creme" place. However when an extra hot spot opens up, it's just a matter of months if not weeks before all the Riff-Raff will happily put roots in the new "hard to get in" 5 Star Hotel Lounge. Those places are polluted with "high class" hookers! They are everywhere and I assure you they are NOT classy! They look beat down, with their plastic surgery gone bad, teeny-tiny outfits that make them look like they are 15 years old... until you get a closer look and almost a heart attack from the encounter with the real MUMMY! Can we say: Horrifying? Are they there just to find their next victim? Don't these women have goals or pride or self-esteem? Women like that make me feel ashamed to be a woman! They are just there, hoping to find men who will buy them expensive label crap and more silicone for their ridiculously deformed lips. Men who frequent those lounges are not much better material. They will only look for women who lack in gray matter... therefore they happily and successfully hunt for the available females who will laugh at their dumb and predictable jokes.
I thought that by going there I would meet intelligent people with good careers I could relate to. I was hoping to meet people who can handle a conversation that stimulates my curiosity and lights up my creativity. Yet I found myself yawning... or laughing thanks to my good sense of humor.

My belief is: Money will not make smart nor beautiful. Having a Dior, or Chanel, or whoever else's purse has a price tag, it can be very high, but it still has a price... having a brain and the ability to use it: PRICELESS!!! And this is where I somehow get upset! How come I'm not a millionaire? I'm much smarter than most of the people I scouted there!!!

The "Horses" Race = The 2 Sides of Milan

Milan is one of this city that has a dramatically split personality's society. One side is jammed with people who are eager to fight for people's rights and protest the government in every artistic way they can imagine; the the other side is highly enjoying the actual situation while showing off their branded belongings. They are two tribes. Just as tribes they distinguish themselves with their looks and behaviors. As I must always be extreme in all my choices and decisions I have managed once again to mix myself in both crowds... moved by my curiosity, my hunger to learn, and my acceptance and interest in understanding people's choices.
Therefore a couple of weeks ago I decided to go visit the two big famous Milan's race horses! LeonCavallo vice JustCavalli!!!

My Friday Night at LeonCavallo.
LeonCavallo is a made up word that literally translated means "LionHorse". It's the largest Cummnunity Center in Milan. This is not the typical community center you will find in the States... it an enormous establishment who has been taking over by local citizens, some of them even live there! The center is huge, it has several rooms that can be used for theatrical performances, concerts, meetings, parties, book readings... you get the point. They even offer a funky library and a every smoky and greasy diner... and a potent smell of pot! It's a mixture of older people who want to talk politics and be serious, younger people who live in a hippie/rastah way, artists who want to express themselves and a bunch of immigrants mostly from Africa. Somehow they all seem to get along, and they all call each other "amico" of "fratello" (buddy or brother). It's funny how a place that has such a bad reputation for being the center of protests and always in the target of authorities (who would love to shut them down), it just feels so relaxed and laid back. They don't care who you are, where you come from, and what you do for living. They urge to talk about famous writers, philosophers, politicians, history, story about their travels and exchanging ideas. How inspiring and cool! How ironic that my father has always been SO scared of such places.

My Saturday Night at JustCavalli.
Do you want to experience the total opposite? Here we go! This is a fancy club whose owner is nonetheless fashion designer Roberto Cavalli. You must be on the list! I am! You must dress to impress! I did! You (especially women) must be hot! Well, I wore enough make up and black clothing to pass! And most important of all you must ACT! And I mean: Act Like An Ass! I excel in this too... just for fun! I never saw so many girl models all in one place. They are probably still in their teens, with their beautiful flawless skin, never ending legs, and austere look on their faces. There are tons of men who are wildly jumping around to the beat of the techno music in hope to be seen by the goddesses... and all in a sudden I just crack up laughing! I get this picture in mind where the models are beautiful giraffes and the older, shorter, not so attractive men are hyenas with rabies trying to get at least to lick their thin ankle! This is so pathetic yet hilarious. Around them there a few completely fucked on coke individuals who have no clue what to do with themselves as they are waaaaayyy too alert by 5am! And while wearing the Armani suits they think "how about i punch this asshole?". The atmosphere was very tense and stressful, especially around the many not so young ladies with their giant plastic boobs and lips who would give your the look of death if you dared to dance too close to their sugar-daddy!

In the end, from this research I can assure you there is something for everyone's taste here!

Expecting the unexpected can be predictably disappointing.

I was always against this internet dating deal. Then a few weeks ago I gave in, moved by 2 main reasons.
1) I’m getting tired of being single, I would like to find someone fun to share experiences with, and for once of the opposite sex and straight… just for a change! So I decided to follow my friends’ advice to give it a try. As I can’t be judging something I don’t know… I decided I had to try it personally in order to form an opinion about it.
2) I thought this would be a really interesting anthropological experimental research as a subject to blog about.

I started to think that after all it is quite difficult to find a partner while working long hours and having a very busy life schedule (main reason why I have purposely chosen to be single during the last few years). I also realized that bars and clubs are infested with horny drunks whose main goal is to score a one night stand they will barely remember about 4 hours later. So why have such prejudice against online dating? The hell with it! I had to try it. I like to premise that this goes completely against my whole philosophy on life; how things happen for a reason and how coincidences do not exist, on this I feel close to the way of thinking of Carl Gustav Jung.

Finding Mr Right online is pure utopia.

Internet dating is like grocery shopping online. First you look at the pictures sort of like looking at packaging, then you take a closer look at the ingredients (their profile description) in hope to find something in common. While I’m taking my time browsing around I start to get an avalanche of Chat requests, Private messages, notifications of hundreds of men consulting my profile, half of them declare to have a Crush on me already! It’s very alarming, and I don’t know what to do! I feel like a whore in a window in the red light district in Amsterdam! All I did was put two pictures of me, both just of my face one in black and white and a color one. I filled some of the mandatory fields, but I did not even write anything personal about me. At this point I can barely keep up reading the messages, denying the chat requests from all the freaks, and wondering how they can have a crush on me if they don’t know me!!!

Overview on some of the most bizarre messages:

Yuri, is very old, ugly, so serious he looks pissed off
“Wonderful woman, stupendous creature, you are my dream... can I meet you?” NO, NEVER, NOT A CHANCE IN THE WORLD! Didn’t I specify I was looking for a specific type and age range? Grumpy, unattractive male in his 70s was to on the list!!!

“ziopollo” has a crush on me? How can i like someone who calls himself “unclechicken”?

Ok, are my standards too high? I can’t be interested in a hairdresser… sounds gay, and I already have my favorite gays to hang with… I don’t want one who pretends to be straight to probably please his conservative family.
How about a man who is 40 and he is a secretary/personal assistant? Sorry, that makes me think he’s not ambitious nor worth my time…

Or the hottie who posts as the main profile picture one from when he was 20? Then you go through his pix and he has gracefully aged into an attractive man in his 40s… but the idea of how vain he is to keep as his main picture the one from the past makes me want to run away.

Mr Dork just doesn’t care and I feel so bad for him, like I want to hug him… but not really! His candor does warm my heart for about 5 seconds, obviously I’m shallow!
“Hi, I moved here for work. I have never been engaged nor married. I love movies, cooking. I signed on this site to find a partner to share everything with. So far I have had not good results as nobody replies to me. I would be the luckiest man in the world if you did. Thank you for reading my message”... he is so pathetic, he makes me feel bad. And he makes me think… what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong to this dimension.

This is the land of freaks, where Javier Barden is very popular on profile pictures!

Are they all desperate? Are they just horny? How many are serious? How do they choose the pictures they post? Like mug shots?! This is quite a scary world. Much scarier than meeting random strangers in bars. You don’t know what they really look like, you can not trust them, you don’t know what their voice sounds like nor what their real intentions are other than the obvious human urges that they would like to pursue.
Why would you put pictures where you look a bit stupid, or your friends are crazy, or you are with your grandparents, or from when you shaved you head and it was not a good idea? Or freaky man who looks like a witch! Or vampire and wolfman…. Monster?
Bad picture = NO CHAT Just as No picture = no chat!

I fear this is such a waste of my time! I also fear to be found by some coworkers who will think I’m here out of desperation… not knowing my real intentions.

By day 2 I start getting a bit ballsier and I reply to a few chat requests…I just pissed one off. I was sort of sarcastic of the fact that he has been on this dating site since 2008 and he quit chatting. Dating site dudes are too sensitive! OMG then they get anxious and think they are the only ones chatting with you! Hello!!??? I chat with my real friends on FB a lot more… this is starting to be stressful and unpleasant!

Another guy is mad at me because I had not replied to his previous message!!!
“I will try again in a different way: I’m mean, selfish, give everything for granted and I’m boring. I’m always dull, not a good listener and my only passion is football. I don-t know how to court a woman I find too hard and I have no personality. Since this is the second time I try to contact you my dear Viola and if you won’t reply, then you really don’t like anything! I tried everything to impress you and be your ideal man, but you hold a hearty of stone! What can I say? Goodbye, I wish you to find what you’re looking for…. Although I already know I’m madly jealous already of the one who will get you!” ….. I need to delete this site soon!

A Japanese Micheal Jackson is in love with me too!

How do I feel about a man who writes highlighting in pastel colors and puts shimmering stars at the beginning and end of his phrases…. And he-s obsessed by the 2012 end of the world!

Then a guy who was the first I had replied to a chat request during the first week, pops back up. I follow my instinct and reply… before I know it we chat for hours! The same happens the following night. I start to think this might be fun. He’s handsome, intelligent, well spoken, good sense of humor, has a good career…. I agree on talking to him on the phone. Once again we spend a few hours for a couple of nights talking about our lives, goals, hobbies, dreams. What is wrong? How come his wife left him? Is it true? And is he also playing hard to get… Do I believe him? How stupid should I be to fall in the same trap again. When men are too charming and play out as the ones who have lost their trust in women… it’s lights up my emergency red alert in my head. However it’s too late for me to be 100% rational and I accept to go on a date with him… this is the most stressful experience ever. AS I was approaching the café where we were going to meet, I kept thinking he would have looked nothing like the guy in the picture I have been talking to. I almost escaped but that is when he arrived…. And I was happily surprised that he looked even better in person!The following week we went on a second date, and again we had lovely time. He’s a total gentleman, he doesn’t even try a move on me…. Which being a woman it’s flattering yet disappointing (maybe cause American men don’t waste time). Yet, I would have been bothered if he had tried to make a move… that goes to explain how women are never happy! Men are poison, love is poison… and lust is lethal. My ego is able to swallow me in one big gulp! I don’t like the game of who’s calling first, is he into me? Will I see him again? So why would I put myself through that again on purpose? Why should I? I delete my dating site account, it’s NOT my thing.

I prefer to go back to my master plan of pure research. Re-open it under a male alter ego and successfully complete a fun blog about this experience.

Men did not make me sad. But women did. With my new male alter ego I started to browse around the dating site world of women. They looked so pretty and hopeful. They chose their best pictures to post on their profiles. I started to feel guilty. As if I was intruding in their bedroom as a real douche-bag.

Being a guy sucks, I couldn’t even see who visited my profile unless I would compromise to pay a fee… which I refused to. I can only visit 5 profiles a day as a man. Women are much less aggressive. Only 2 women a night visited my profile. They are probably too busy fending off all the crazy requests coming their way. There are also a good number of very young girls who use the network as a way to promote their porn sites… I suddenly feel even sadder.

This was a very strange experience for me. I have learned that following my instinct is key to my being.

I'm retiring from Disco Nights!

I'm over it... my disco night's life has expired! I have been going out as a night owl for so long, and it has always been very fun. So how does it happen that all in a sudden one night I realize that I'm totally over it, DONE! I'm not saying I'm not going out anymore, I do still highly enjoy going to bars, cafes, restaurants, lounges... but last night while been in a club, as we still call them in Italy "discoteca", I just found myself bored, annoyed, and frustrated. I used to love to be smashed around by hundreds of sweaty bodies while drinking, smoking, and jumping around like a maniac. Instead last night I felt like I was a hot-dog in an air tight pack! I couldn't even move, I couldn't breathe, the smoke was awful, and the drinks too strong! When did I ever complain about having a drink too strong? Suddenly I was also possessed by this fear that I was the oldest one in there, that I must look ridiculous... the average age was 24! I thought "What am I doing here? Who am I kidding? This is awful and I don't belong here anymore....". I then took a trip to the bathroom, and there were tons of girls who looked so stressed out while fixing their make-up and hair in front of the mirror. They were probably about 19 years old... but the sunken in look on their faces... who clearly have been abusing a bit too much the partying... made them look like grouchy ladies in their 60s. That vision made me feel a bit better, as I thought "Hell, I look way better than them, and I'm almost 20 years older". I walked out of the bathroom with a big smile on my face.

Today was the final decision of officially retiring from disco nights. Today I have done NOTHING! I have been completely useless! Something that bothers me to no end. It was a gorgeous warm and sunny day... and I laid around at home like a moron! That's it, I have had a wonderful time in the past years clubbing, and I surely don't want to spoil it by hating it. Therefore I have a theory that if something is not fun anymore, it must be stopped. I much rather use the money to go see a good play.

Wow, this decision suddenly makes me feel so grown up... I'm a big girl now! Please know that this does not mean I will start Bingo Nights now!!!

Do I have to go to LA to vote for the Italian elections?

SECOND ITALIAN CLASH...
As many of you know by now, I have lived abroad over the last decade or so. I'm one of those people who strongly believes that every vote counts. I love politics, doing my research before an election comes up, and I usually get pretty involved about my likings. With this said, it is easy to understand that although not physically in Italy, I have always made sure I was registered with the AIRE in order to vote.

Throughout the years I registered my residence in Norfolk VA, Orlando FL, Los Angeles CA, and London UK. It has always been a very easy process that instantly registers you in your new abroad residence. I once remembered to register myself the week before the elections... and I still received my voting card in time.

I moved to Milan on February 2nd, and on February 5th I went to register my new residence. I was told it would take officially 6 months to be active. However I was given a letter that suggested I was able to get my doctor, and prove my physical residence in Lombardy. Today the city hall was open to help people who have not yet received the voting card. I forgot to mention tomorrow and Monday we are having the regional elections. I went to get my voting card.... but I was turned down! I was told I must wait the 6 months before I can have the darn voting card. So I asked the lady-clerk "where should I go voting? back in LA or London?". She answered affirmative! So basically she was telling me that it's easier as an Italian citizen to vote abroad for Italian elections rather than in your own country! That makes NO sense!!! I registered myself about 2 months ago! Why does it take so long? I got so aggravated with the situation that I raised my voice and said "So as an Italian citizen by birth, as a punishment for having lived abroad for some time, I now have no right to vote at least temporarily. Isn't that against our constitution?". She freaked out while looking around as if I was crazy. She kept on repeating to me that "You're not a resident of the region of Lombardy yet!"... right, but I'm not a resident of Sardinia either since 1993! So in reality not only I can't vote, I have no region to vote for!

This is causing me so much aggravation I will get an ulcer!

My First Italian Clash.

One of my NYE resolutions has been going back to school. I'm determined that it will happen this year! Nothing is going to get in my way. A few weeks ago I had an interesting meeting with a representative from an Online University. Although they are fully accredited for their degrees... I just feel funny about getting my University degree online.

Today I got up early and proudly headed to the Open Day at the Bocconi University. I know they have a Business degree in Art and Communication. Which I find very appealing as it is related to my job. The whole place is buzzing with tons of high school students. The structure slightly reminds me of an American campus, so I instantly feel comfortable.... although thinking again about it was just a big, square and lacking in personality conglomerate of buildings.

I get my packet of info and look for the area that carries the sign of the degree I'm interested in. I introduce myself to a professor and she happily welcomes me. I start to explain my situation: being older and having a career I love, yet wanting to go back to school to get my so long wished upon degree. She starts looking nervous, and tells me that it is highly recommended to frequent all courses, as this particular faculty has been carefully designed, and all professors take a lot of pride in their work. Ok, I understand and respect that! However I have a full time job that I really enjoy, and I plan on studying on my own or taking evening classes. She firmly say that Bocconi does NOT offer evening classes... then she asks me how old I am as my appearance is very confusing and not clear (precisely her words!). I answer: 38. She looks at me and her eyes widen so much I fear her eye balls will drop on the floor, and bounce around as marbles! She then even asks me if I have a family and children! I say no, as I'm thinking this is really none of her darn business!! She is totally trying to make me feel too old to go back to school! She even tells me (as if I hadn't thought about it myself), "you know most of the people here are in between 18 and 24. Do you want to come here just so you can have a piece of paper to be proud of?". Is this a real professor? One I surely don't want!!!

Suddenly while she is talking all sort of random statements, sayings, and friends' quotes from the States are swirling in my head... "it's never too late! go for it! you deserve it! why not? why shouldn't you? the sky is the limit! you can do it! take the challenge! obstacles are challenges!". Yeah! And one more quote quickly flashed through my mind as well, a quote from a colleague from last week "You know.... you know you will never be fully Italian again, never ever!". I thought he was been a bit drastic... but now I think he was right.

What is this professor's deal? Why is she not encouraging me to sign up, but rather trying to scare me away. She is telling me that is going to be a big responsibility, that when I get home from work I will have to sit in my room and study! Hellooo!!!??? Didn't I just tell her I'm 38, I didn't say I'm retarded, I said I'm 38!!! She doesn't even know me! I used to work a full time job (where I usually stayed longer than my scheduled 8 hours), additionally I had a part-time job, I took an improv/sketch comedy class, I performed on stage with a theatre ensemble (keep in mind that involves rehearsals), I religiously went to the gym, hiking, volunteering for green causes, and managed to have also a busy social life. Oh wait, but that was back in the USA... there you instantly become a master of multi-tasking, it's in the air you breathe. Here age goes against you, and having ONE job seems to be too time consuming for me to study on my free time. Why? Now more than ever I want to go back! "Professor My Class is so Awesome and Cannot be missed" is not going to tell me what to do... and she will never have the pleasure to teach me a thing. I will not stop here, I have more universities to visit and I will be enrolled before the end of the year.
Morale of the story? I'm too stubborn and determined when I want something. Bring it on, I'm ready!

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

I recently read High Fidelity. I had not even realized until now that there the movie came out in 2000 with John Cusack, and that I had seen it. I read this book incredibly fast on my bus and metro rides. It is very easy reading and doesn't take too much focus to follow the story.
My thoughts? Mmmh, it's the story told in first person of a generic guy like there are millions of out there. At times I recognized myself in his statements and observations, but I have always joked about the fact that I think like a dude often. In other parts it helped me understand how simple minded most men are. There really is not a complex chain of thoughts behind their decision making other than basic cavemen impulses. One of my favorite quotes that I could relate with was: "There are men who will phone you, and men who will not phone you. I would really, really like to be one in the last group. They are "true" men. The kind of men that women have on their mind when they complain about us". I find that to be true. Women are just as idiotic as men. A man who will call you all the time and be very nice to you, will be judged as an annoying prince. Yet, as soon as we are ignored by a men and treated not so nicely... we instantly want the dirty S.O.B.! Why? Masochists, I think most women are naturally prone to be abused!

I liked it, and I did not like it at the same time. I liked the honesty of the character, how he revealed himself. How he is so pathetic, he is such a loser and deep inside he knows it. I hated that his girlfriend went back to him! She is smart, successful, and stylish... why does she need to be with him? He does not deserve her, he's a worthless douche-bag! Her explanation for wanting to go back with him is "I'm too tired not to be with you!". It makes women look bad! It shows that women are weak and must have a man in their life, even if he is the biggest loser who can't even pay for her dinner! At the same time, this ending as much as it caused me deep anger issues, it made it so human... she goes back to him after her father dies. She is lost and he is the one who has known her the longest. Although I don't agree with the choice I can understand the her fears and need to be with someone. And just when I think that he might redeem himself in a tiny slice of my respect... he once again disappoints me by wondering if this is going to be a "good" thing for him to have his girl back!!! This is the type of man to stay away from, he's ignorant, clueless and lacks ambition.

Final thoughts? Yes, I would recommend this book, especially to women. It's an eye opener.

Political Parties in Italy...

...how many do we really need? As of now, I believe I counted 24 parties. I must admit that during the last decade I got more and more involved into learning about the USA politics and discovering which party was more adapt to my beliefs. By the time it was election time, I never had a doubt who I was going to give my vote to. The USA are very basic, it's either one way or the other. They have two main parties (the rest are pretty much not even counted for), so it simplifies when it's time to go voting.

Now I find myself back in Italy, a place that is my home by birth, but that I know maybe too little about. I know the main parties obviously as I have been always very well informed on politics since a young age. However now I have been doing my research, because I don't like just randomly giving my vote away. I'm one of these person that believes that every single vote counts. Not only the Italian government is going through a very rough moment, to add more confusion there are way too many parties! Since I left some have been added and some changed their name a few times, to get a refreshed look... This is a nightmare in my opinion! I have followed quite a bit of debates and I think they are all full of BS! It makes me mad that I don't know who I want to vote for. Why is such a beautiful country so rotten at its core?

Last night I went to a very fun dinner-party. It was sponsored by a political party, they had a few simple but good speeches. What was very interesting and entertaining is that to cause the media to talk about them and do their campaign in the most unique and creative way... they are using drag queens! Now I'm sure that a few of you are thinking "That is perfect for you! You love being around queens!". He he he, that is true. And I did have a blast, we danced all night as the popular and colorful drag queens played DJ. They are using this tactic of satire to ridicule the whole system. Unfortunately dancing and a few laughs does not conquer my vote. I need to see and know more!

I know for sure who I will NOT sign for. But weeks are going by and I need to make up my mind by March 28th!!! Sometime I feel like the Italian government system is like a circus, like a big circus in a Fellini movie...

Mr Colombia thinks is way cool!

Thursday night was one of those nights that are so random and fun, you feel like it's part of a comedy screenplay. It all started with my new party entourage, myself the Italian, the English and the German... I know it sounds like the beginning of a joke, but this is actually true. We were hopping from bar to bar having aperitivo after work. There really was not a specific plan, other than being outside socializing and drinking. At some point we were approached by this older man who had been at the last bar for a while as well. He looked like Robert De Niro. He was dressed up to the top... a bit much really, it was borderline on being baroque in my opinion. I will call him Mr Colombia. He must have been in his late 50s. He was wearing a very nice dark gray coordinated matching suit, complete of tie and vest. However he had way too many jewels! Very sparkling bling-blings everywhere! Bracelets, rings, and even a two string diamond decoration around the knot of his tie... And let's not mention the liters of perfume that he was immersed in. He told us he was Italian, but he had been living in Bogota' - Colombia for many years now. He claimed to work in fashion.
Since I do love meeting crazy people, I of course had to invite him to our table to know more about him. Mr Colombia never shut up! He just wanted to be at the center of attention and flirted with men and women. Towards the end of the night he invited us to go with him to a club, we accept. He then told us it would cost Eur 15... we think it's an ok price to go dancing. But doesn't Mr Colombia need to go to sleep? I think it's getting a bit late for him... but he seems much more alert than any of us... not sure it's a natural high... So we get a the club, we are the only ones there and quite honestly I did not feel like paying for geting into a place that is EMPTY! So we told him that we would rather go somewhere else... and crazy Mr Colombia got mad and annoyed with us. He scribbled his email and phone number on a piece of paper for me, so I could go visit him in Bogota'... seriously? Why do I always attract the crazies???

Parco Sempione and Castello Sforzesco

My new weekend routine includes a run through a a really busy park bustling with young families with their children, singles running with ipods to keep in shape, and tons of couples. Italians love to make out in public under the sun whether they are 16 or 60! Maybe it's because spring is coming, and they all act like horny rabbits! They are everywhere and not ashamed to be lost in each others' eyes and hugs and kisses. Is that real love? When people look so happy and worry free? When they can't stop exchanging saliva at every corner? I'm not sure, I have ever been under this spell. My types of love have always been so demolishing, languishing, complicated and dramatically impossible... very Shakespearean... this happy joy-joy type of love is just foreign to me and scares me!
I finally leave the park just behind me to stroll through the castle. Here again I see nothing but LOVE! Japanese couples come here to get married every weekend. How much does that cost? Is this the city of Love? I thought that was Rome!!! I'm not bothered by it, I think they all look so beautiful... maybe I'm just a bit jealous!

I must admit that more days and weeks go by, the happier I am about my return home. It feels so nice and right to be here again. I had almost forgotten how beautiful we Italians are. How we enjoy every moment of life. When we are not at work, we are NOT working. It's either aperitivo or espresso time. You don't rush to go get a coffee, you order it, sit at the table outside with you family or friends and enjoy the sun, while catching up and telling them everything that happened to you lately. We do LOVE to talk! I'm not saying it's the perfect country, I feel that the government and political situation is awful... but can any of you tell me of a perfect place? What I know is that this suits me perfectly right here right now!

More people watching chronicles

Ok, I admit it... secretly spying on strangers on buses, trams, metros, and around the streets has become my new addiction. I urge to want to write stories about them all. It just amuses me to first study them in every possible detail I can in the few minutes I have to share with them, and them spice up the story with my perception of them.

MR ARTURO AND HIS DOG
Last week I saw one of the most beautiful man I have ever seen. He must have been on his late 70s at least. He was very distinguished and classy. He was tall and slim, wore with elegance a long coat, one of those dark green coats that slightly remind you of Sherlock Holmes. He also wore some sort of black fedora hat. Although he walked with a cane, he still had a very regal and straight up walk. His feature were the ones of a king from a deck of cards, with perfectly trimmed white beard, and white hair picking out of his hat. He was not alone, in fact it looked like he was taking his dog for his morning walk. The dog really looked just like him! He was some sort of hound with medium length hair, that on his face made it resemble to his owner's beard and hair. They both had a very serious look on their faces, walked at the same pace, with the same posture. Those are the times I wish I had my camera with me and jumped out of the bus to steal a picture of them. They were so beautiful, calm, and connected.

TEENS ATTRACTION
Two teenagers, a boy and a girl, just meet at the bus stop. They get in the bus together. They are both mixed. She looks half Italian and half Latin American, she is super cute, with very long hair, her honey hue skin, she is full of life and solar. He is probably half Italian and half North African, he's quite tall and built like a model. He has that nonchalant bored look, and he's very calm. She likes him... a lot! She is trying to find out everything about him, what is his name, where does hi live, where does he go to school... every time she asks him a question she gets closer to him in the cutest flirty way. He loves the attention, and he answers to her with a rogue whisper, maybe he does it on purpose to make her go closer to him. Indeed I can't hear his answers very well. Finally she asks him how old he is.... he replies with pride and trying to impress her "I'm 16 and a half... not, I'm almost 17!". She is in awe! She replies: "I'm almost 16...". Oh My God, how cute are they? They are so cute I ended up missing my freaking bus stop! It was like watching a movie from the 80s... I wanted to spy on them all day!

STRANGERS CHATTING
This is one of my favorite stories. The North of Italy has a bad reputation for being racist. I'm discovering that is not like that at all. People are quite friendly and used to be around other cultures. It's definitely obvious in the younger generations, when in the morning you see kids who are Italian by birth, but have the most diverse backgrounds: from Chinese to Algerian, to Egyptian, Mexican, Vietnamese, Nigerian, etc. Kids have no problem being around each other, and I love that. But I love it even more when I see older people making the effort to be good citizens by accepting and being friendly. On a Sunday, an old Italian man got on the bus. There was one sit available next to a middle aged men who looked foreign. The old Italian man, let's call him Antonio, asked if he could sit next to the younger guy. He then started to ask him where he was from, and the guy replied from Egypt (I will call him Asim). Antonio got really excited! He told him he had studied everything about Egypt but never had the chance to go visit. They had the most fun chat together, they were laughing and telling each other stories. When one of them had to leave, they shook hands, and Antonio promised him he would go see Asim at the restaurant where he worked as a chef.
This little event made me happy, in a day and age where being judgmental is so easy with everything that we are being fed by the media, it's refreshing to see that some of us know that we are all of the same race: HUMAN!

Hollow Beauties Chatting

On my bus ride in the morning I sometime choose to plug myself with my music device to happily isolate myself, while surrounded by the most diverse people. Other times I really enjoy ease dropping on my travel companions conversations.
I find out quite a bit of information in 30 minutes. If you think about it when watching a movie by that time you have most likely discovered the plot, or seen an entire short.
This morning I noticed two beautiful girls, they were models, they had no make up on, long straight hair, and their never ending legs! The first sort of resembled Carla Bruni, the second looked like a young Brooke Shields from Blue Lagoon. They communicated in English which was not their first language, they both had heavy accents and struggled a little to think of the right words. Were they Eastern European maybe?
At first I was not really listening to their conversation, I just softly heard a back and forth of "blah, blah, blah...". I was totally distracted by my own fervid imagination. I had in fact in my head started to plan their day. They would arrive at a studio for a photo shoot. They would casually get their hair and make up professionally done while looking bored. Them they would wear the most bizarre and amazing designer outfits while some super trendy photographer would direct them. Big fans would make their hair blow like the wind. Then a day while I was going through the pages of a magazine I would recognize them on a glossy ad looking so magically stunning, unreachable, perfect and unreal with their lost look into something far away.
All in a sudden I felt a bit of envy... and I'm NOT an envious person by nature. I admire, I don't envy. But right at that particular moment, I thought to myself how lucky they must have been. They are young, good looking, they travel the world, have busy schedules, and make decent money.
As my curiosity grew I decided to switch on my "secret service's ears", and catch every word they were saying. I will from now on refer to them as Carla and Brooke, although those are not their names, and if they were it would be purely coincidental (and I would have super powers I was not aware of).
Carla was bitching about some ex boyfriend of hers. The problem was that he had a Ferrari... and it had gotten so boring and old for her to ride around Milan in such a show off car. (Wow!!! Those models had morals and were deeper than I had expected). Brooke agrees with Carla's condition, so she starts to share her story about her present boyfriend. Brooke is very upset because her boyfriend wants to buy a brand new convertible Bentley!!!!
(I think "niiice"! If you are not aware of what this car looks like, click here:
http://autos.yahoo.com/bentley_continental_gtc_convertible/).
Why is she upset? She would like him to buy... a Jeep??? Actually, to give you a better idea, here her exact words (her
English is not so great): "That is just like my new boyfriend! I'm so angry at him. He decide to want to buy a cabriolet Bentley, the one the roof go down! But I want he to buy a Jeep, I like Jeep (oh no, bad taste!!!). I refuse to go in car around with no roof in this city, No, really, my hair get dirty and messy very much. He only to want to drive car with no roof to show me beautiful around the city. Everybody knows I'm beautiful, I want to be in a Jeep and give me the rest of the money...." (I think she means the difference in price in between the Bentley and the Jeep). OMG, is this for real? She goes on and on, and I'm disgusted! Give you the money? Are you a model or a prostitute? This is the kind of people I fear! Ignorance is terrifying to me especially when mixed with a good dose of stupidity. Instantly I know they are the typical girls who don't read or watch the news, who know nothing about history, art or philosophy. How ironic that "something" so pretty on the outside, it's so empty and boring inside (no pun intended!).
All of a sudden my train of thoughts has switched. I think this is the kind of woman I would hate to be, the kind I would never be. Now it totally makes sense that they are so good at posing in front of the lens with that "I'm thinking of nothing" look in their eyes. I could never be friends with them. Just for your information, I do know and I am friends with some models who are very smart and worldly. This is just the story of "Clare & Brooke". Then I began placing myself in the shoes of a man. As a man I would not be interested in woman I can only show off for her looks, yet could not have an intelligent conversation with. I guess that if I was of the "male kind", I would only enjoy her company for one quick night!
So, who is this man dating Brooke? A man who can afford a Bentley convertible, a $197,500 worth automobile!!! Is he rich but ancient like a centenary oak? Is he loaded, but short, bold, ugly, fat and with halitosis? Or could be wealthy and decent looking, and successful? Maybe a trust fund baby? A super insecure yuppie? First he must find a hot model, then he must get an outrageously expensive car, so he can ride around and show off his "belongings". That's a type of man I would never date even if I was the dumb hot model. My final theory? The girl brain's size of a pea, and the guy penis is a perfect replica of a baby carrot.
Now I feel sorry for them. I now know that if I was a guy I would date a woman that is not just pretty, but would have to be as ambitious and smart as me. And we would probably both have fun sporty cars, and we would not care about having others staring at us. Same goes as for the real me, my girl version.
Having a brain is beautiful and priceless.

Americans and Italians...

... a few differences I noticed during the last few weeks. Please note that this is supposed to be funny. Don't take any of it personal... if you do, you have no sense of humor!

POLITICS
Italians: They complain about all the politicians, they hate them all. The news love trashing them and advertising all the corruption, sex and drug scandles they are involved in. It's worse than a "telenovela-meet-big brother" contest! They read all the newspapers and watch the news religiously. They also like to complain about being Italian, and living in Italy.

Americans: Many refuse to follow the news. Not being aware of bad news, it's like fixing the problem and making it better... right? They love the party they belong to, they are proud of being Americans, and to live in the land of opportunity.

FASHION
Italian Women: They must follow the latest trends in clothes, shoes, purses, phones, sun glasses, make up, haircuts, hair styles and colors. However they have awful hands, they just don't believe in manicures!

American women: This needs to be extended more, as each state has their own trends. Some are stuck in the 80's... why did they pick that decade by the way? Fashion evolved up to then... and then what? Some are stuck in some kind of "all year 'round beach-wear", with their flip-flops and shorts. It drastically changes in the main cities as NYC or LA where the uber fashionistas are very Cover girl! But cross-country American women are obsessed by their mani-pedi. Make up seems to be more in demand among the younger crowd.

Italian men: Just like their women, they love to follow fashion trends. From clothes, to shoes, to haircuts and sunglasses. But why are their hands in much better shape than women's??? Maybe because they don't do house chores... Having a nice expensive car is also a big men's fashion statement.

American men: For the big part they wear whatever is available. Although khakis and polo shirts are still a big hit! Shoes are not a priority in their fashion repertoire... but bright t-shirts with big logos of their favorite sport's team surely is!

SEX
Italian women: You still easily meet plenty of women who have only been with one or two men in their entire life, and they are happily coupled with someone (either number one or number two!). I'm not sure if I feel sorry for them or if I slightly envy their pure innocence mixed with the ignorance of not knowing what else is out there...

American women: You still easily meet plenty of women who do not remember how men they have slept with... this is sort of fascinating to me. It makes me feel sad somehow. It's like sex has turn into some non-special/routine action like going grocery, eating, or pooping... then again it is an animal urge! But I like to practice this basic instinct only when I feel it's special (even if is just a little... magic?)... one more sign that I just don't fit in either criteria, maybe I'm just an alien!

Only Me Portions :-)

I noticed I highly enjoy buying individual portions of food. It must the freedom feeling of thinking, this is JUST mine! I love it that now they have neatly pre-packaged fruits and vegetables for singles. I can buy 1 eggplant, 2 bananas, a small bag of pre-cut and pre-washed greens for my salad. It's wonderful, I always used to throw half of my stuff away, now they have finally realized that there is a high demand for "singles' food", we eat too for goodness sake... just not as much as two people would!
Additionally... I must admit that I think it's cute! It makes me feel like a big girl buying my own single artichoke!!! I also like it because I can have a bigger variety of colorful stuff in my fridge.
Ok, I'm a nerd, and yes I do make grocery lists before I go to the store, and I do cross things off with my pen as I put them in my basket! Hey, I'm a Virgo I can't help it being organized and detailed!!!!
Gotta run now to re-organize my socks' drawer by color, length and material.....

Priceless Moments!

Today after work I quickly went to buy a bottle of wine at the store by my house. I'm gingerly walking towards the register as marching at the rhythm of whatever I'm listening on my iPod. There is a large area by the deli products, a girl is walking ahead of me, and there is a man in business suit walking towards me. The man is checking out the girl in front of me... to the point that as she passes by him, he makes an abrupt full stop and turns around to check her out... mostly he's checking out her ass! I witness the whole very theatrical and humorous deal, I actually confront him by staring back at him straight in the eye, and I have a very satisfied smirk on my face... sort of saying "I caught you!!". He stares back at me with a confused look over his face.
The reason why I'm sharing this story is because as it happened and the way it happened, I realized that this is perfectly fine! Yes, because in Italy you're allowed to stare, to be obvious of noticing somebody or something around you, and to look at strangers right in their eyes. It's not rude, it's part of our culture to acknowledge each other.
In some mother countries, even in ridiculously small places, such as elevators, people try to politely ignore each other. We don't! We greet each other, and immediately start a conversation. We have smart chats(even if sometime we don't agree the subject)with taxi drivers, or strangers on the bus, in shops, at the bank. We just LOVE to STARE and TALK!!!

PS: The image is of Valentina Crepax that has forever been my muse when observing human behavior...

How I fell in love with India...

As soon as I learned how to read I started to devour books. One of my favorite childhood writers was Emilio Salgari. I loved how he described with so much detail his novels that took place in such exotic Indian locations. I had a real weak spot for "The Tigers of Mompracem"; the story was so adventurous, suspenseful, romantic and dreamy. One of the things that fascinated me the most about Salgari, was not just his writing style and talent for story telling, it was the fact that he had never been in his entire life in India. He just read about all this far away locations, and through his studies learned all about them.
By the time I was six years old there was a television series that was premiering.... it was called Sandokan! It was based on the "Tigers of Monpracem" novel. Every week I waited for the new episode with a nervous sense of anticipation. I for the first time fell in love, not just with the story, but with the lead character of Sandokan... I was so obsessed with him I begged my parents to get me a poster of Kabir Bedi (the actor playing the role)... I would stare at that poster every night before falling asleep. I would fantasize of traveling to India and discover its ancient temples... and of course accidentally running into Sandokan, who would take me away, fall in love with me and we would live happily ever after!


Awww, the innocence and dreams of a six year old. The simplicity of my fantasies. They seem so far away yet so fresh in my memory... one thing is still present on my wish list: going to India. I had decided last December while chatting with a good friend of mine, I call her Pinche, that I would have gone there in within a year for sure. And now the craziest thing happened! Another good friend of mine, I call him Danish, he asked me to go to India with him next year! Will I go? Absolutely! No question about it. Before then I will need to do quite a bit of writing, but right now I have all the motivation in the world! I already know that this is going to be one of these trips that will make a big mark in my life.There must be a reason if I have had this attraction for this far away country for all these years, and there is only one way I can discover it... GO TO INDIA!

OMG, is it really my first post for 2010?

I have lived in foreign nations for so many years, I had forgotten the beauty of my own country: Italy. I have moved to Milan not even fully two weeks ago, and yet I feel intoxicated with the vibrant lifestyle. Many of you might be wondering “Excuse me, what’s the difference? Haven’t you been in Italy for the last four months while at your parents?”… No, it’s completely different, for two main reasons: 1) I was in Sardegna! Not only it’s an island, it’s literally a lost land on its own. Although it’s gorgeous in summer time to go there and show off your bikini, and go to pretentious clubs where you will easily spend a whole paycheck in one night…. it’s not anymore I place where I can find my happiness, follow my career and dreams, nor have anything in common with its residents. 2) I was overwhelmed… to say the least by my parents’ insanity that was slowly eating me alive and dragging me into the quick sands of isolation and hopelessness. I do love them dearly, but I can’t change them, save them, nor be with them.

Luckily I have managed over the years, my trips, my journeys, and my jobs to make some solid and incredible friends. They really are not even friends, but truly a fortunate extension of my family. The best kind of relatives, because you get to chose your favorite friends! Am I side-tracking from my main subject, my move to Milan? Nope, not at all! This is all connected. If it wasn’t for this wonderful group of people that I have secretly named (yes, I did copy it from a movie) My Circle of Trust, I wouldn’t be here now. Wow, it sounds like the words from my show… it’s unbelievable how reality was so well woven in that script… So, I thank my Circle of Trust. I refuse to reveal their identities, or to even let them know who is in or not… let’s just say the Circle includes 9 people, purposely one of my favorite numbers as it is a multiple of 3 and the number of my birth month. Yes, I’m a freak!

So, here I am in Milan! I’m still in shock! I absolutely love it! When I was a teenager I used to believe I was going to move here to go to University… but my overly protective parents opposed (thinking it was too far! Well I showed them, didn’t I?), and subsequently I fell in love and decided to get married instead (the overly protective parents opposed on this decision too…. And obviously I did NOT listen).
So many years later, here I am! And it’s exactly how I had imagined it when I was sixteen. I imagined that after getting my degree, I would have found a great job, I would have stylishly dressed in grey and black on winter, I would have had a cute medium length haircut, and live on my own. I’m almost there! I got a job that I love, I got the haircut and clothes… and next I’m going to get that degree I have been wanting for so long. I already have an appointment tomorrow for some orientation! I swear, I’m on a roll this year. NOTHING will stop me!!!

I had started by saying how I had forgotten that I was Italian… I really had, and it was sad! I’m slowly re-acquiring my Italian flare. I walk down the streets enjoying the smell of cigarettes and espressos coming out of the busy and stylish cafes. I’m having to re-learn my beautiful and complex language as I speak like a foreign child! I’m breathing so much Italian through the sites of the monuments, art, architecture, and fashion that I feel high on this strange mixed sensation of pride for belonging to this culture. Women and men are nicely dressed, and pay attention to the detail in a very casual way, they have very fashionable haircuts. And something else I love, women wear make up! Women… are women and even having their careers, husbands and children they still like to look stunning… then again this is Milan, the capital of fashion!!!!
I just want to add that I feel thankful, grateful, and blessed! It’s only February and almost all my wishes and resolutions for this year have been already accomplished!