I was always against this internet dating deal. Then a few weeks ago I gave in, moved by 2 main reasons.
1) I’m getting tired of being single, I would like to find someone fun to share experiences with, and for once of the opposite sex and straight… just for a change! So I decided to follow my friends’ advice to give it a try. As I can’t be judging something I don’t know… I decided I had to try it personally in order to form an opinion about it.
2) I thought this would be a really interesting anthropological experimental research as a subject to blog about.
I started to think that after all it is quite difficult to find a partner while working long hours and having a very busy life schedule (main reason why I have purposely chosen to be single during the last few years). I also realized that bars and clubs are infested with horny drunks whose main goal is to score a one night stand they will barely remember about 4 hours later. So why have such prejudice against online dating? The hell with it! I had to try it. I like to premise that this goes completely against my whole philosophy on life; how things happen for a reason and how coincidences do not exist, on this I feel close to the way of thinking of Carl Gustav Jung.
Finding Mr Right online is pure utopia.
Internet dating is like grocery shopping online. First you look at the pictures sort of like looking at packaging, then you take a closer look at the ingredients (their profile description) in hope to find something in common. While I’m taking my time browsing around I start to get an avalanche of Chat requests, Private messages, notifications of hundreds of men consulting my profile, half of them declare to have a Crush on me already! It’s very alarming, and I don’t know what to do! I feel like a whore in a window in the red light district in Amsterdam! All I did was put two pictures of me, both just of my face one in black and white and a color one. I filled some of the mandatory fields, but I did not even write anything personal about me. At this point I can barely keep up reading the messages, denying the chat requests from all the freaks, and wondering how they can have a crush on me if they don’t know me!!!
Overview on some of the most bizarre messages:
Yuri, is very old, ugly, so serious he looks pissed off
“Wonderful woman, stupendous creature, you are my dream... can I meet you?” NO, NEVER, NOT A CHANCE IN THE WORLD! Didn’t I specify I was looking for a specific type and age range? Grumpy, unattractive male in his 70s was to on the list!!!
“ziopollo” has a crush on me? How can i like someone who calls himself “unclechicken”?
Ok, are my standards too high? I can’t be interested in a hairdresser… sounds gay, and I already have my favorite gays to hang with… I don’t want one who pretends to be straight to probably please his conservative family.
How about a man who is 40 and he is a secretary/personal assistant? Sorry, that makes me think he’s not ambitious nor worth my time…
Or the hottie who posts as the main profile picture one from when he was 20? Then you go through his pix and he has gracefully aged into an attractive man in his 40s… but the idea of how vain he is to keep as his main picture the one from the past makes me want to run away.
Mr Dork just doesn’t care and I feel so bad for him, like I want to hug him… but not really! His candor does warm my heart for about 5 seconds, obviously I’m shallow!
“Hi, I moved here for work. I have never been engaged nor married. I love movies, cooking. I signed on this site to find a partner to share everything with. So far I have had not good results as nobody replies to me. I would be the luckiest man in the world if you did. Thank you for reading my message”... he is so pathetic, he makes me feel bad. And he makes me think… what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong to this dimension.
This is the land of freaks, where Javier Barden is very popular on profile pictures!
Are they all desperate? Are they just horny? How many are serious? How do they choose the pictures they post? Like mug shots?! This is quite a scary world. Much scarier than meeting random strangers in bars. You don’t know what they really look like, you can not trust them, you don’t know what their voice sounds like nor what their real intentions are other than the obvious human urges that they would like to pursue.
Why would you put pictures where you look a bit stupid, or your friends are crazy, or you are with your grandparents, or from when you shaved you head and it was not a good idea? Or freaky man who looks like a witch! Or vampire and wolfman…. Monster?
Bad picture = NO CHAT Just as No picture = no chat!
I fear this is such a waste of my time! I also fear to be found by some coworkers who will think I’m here out of desperation… not knowing my real intentions.
By day 2 I start getting a bit ballsier and I reply to a few chat requests…I just pissed one off. I was sort of sarcastic of the fact that he has been on this dating site since 2008 and he quit chatting. Dating site dudes are too sensitive! OMG then they get anxious and think they are the only ones chatting with you! Hello!!??? I chat with my real friends on FB a lot more… this is starting to be stressful and unpleasant!
Another guy is mad at me because I had not replied to his previous message!!!
“I will try again in a different way: I’m mean, selfish, give everything for granted and I’m boring. I’m always dull, not a good listener and my only passion is football. I don-t know how to court a woman I find too hard and I have no personality. Since this is the second time I try to contact you my dear Viola and if you won’t reply, then you really don’t like anything! I tried everything to impress you and be your ideal man, but you hold a hearty of stone! What can I say? Goodbye, I wish you to find what you’re looking for…. Although I already know I’m madly jealous already of the one who will get you!” ….. I need to delete this site soon!
A Japanese Micheal Jackson is in love with me too!
How do I feel about a man who writes highlighting in pastel colors and puts shimmering stars at the beginning and end of his phrases…. And he-s obsessed by the 2012 end of the world!
Then a guy who was the first I had replied to a chat request during the first week, pops back up. I follow my instinct and reply… before I know it we chat for hours! The same happens the following night. I start to think this might be fun. He’s handsome, intelligent, well spoken, good sense of humor, has a good career…. I agree on talking to him on the phone. Once again we spend a few hours for a couple of nights talking about our lives, goals, hobbies, dreams. What is wrong? How come his wife left him? Is it true? And is he also playing hard to get… Do I believe him? How stupid should I be to fall in the same trap again. When men are too charming and play out as the ones who have lost their trust in women… it’s lights up my emergency red alert in my head. However it’s too late for me to be 100% rational and I accept to go on a date with him… this is the most stressful experience ever. AS I was approaching the café where we were going to meet, I kept thinking he would have looked nothing like the guy in the picture I have been talking to. I almost escaped but that is when he arrived…. And I was happily surprised that he looked even better in person!The following week we went on a second date, and again we had lovely time. He’s a total gentleman, he doesn’t even try a move on me…. Which being a woman it’s flattering yet disappointing (maybe cause American men don’t waste time). Yet, I would have been bothered if he had tried to make a move… that goes to explain how women are never happy! Men are poison, love is poison… and lust is lethal. My ego is able to swallow me in one big gulp! I don’t like the game of who’s calling first, is he into me? Will I see him again? So why would I put myself through that again on purpose? Why should I? I delete my dating site account, it’s NOT my thing.
I prefer to go back to my master plan of pure research. Re-open it under a male alter ego and successfully complete a fun blog about this experience.
Men did not make me sad. But women did. With my new male alter ego I started to browse around the dating site world of women. They looked so pretty and hopeful. They chose their best pictures to post on their profiles. I started to feel guilty. As if I was intruding in their bedroom as a real douche-bag.
Being a guy sucks, I couldn’t even see who visited my profile unless I would compromise to pay a fee… which I refused to. I can only visit 5 profiles a day as a man. Women are much less aggressive. Only 2 women a night visited my profile. They are probably too busy fending off all the crazy requests coming their way. There are also a good number of very young girls who use the network as a way to promote their porn sites… I suddenly feel even sadder.
This was a very strange experience for me. I have learned that following my instinct is key to my being.
