I'm retiring from Disco Nights!

I'm over it... my disco night's life has expired! I have been going out as a night owl for so long, and it has always been very fun. So how does it happen that all in a sudden one night I realize that I'm totally over it, DONE! I'm not saying I'm not going out anymore, I do still highly enjoy going to bars, cafes, restaurants, lounges... but last night while been in a club, as we still call them in Italy "discoteca", I just found myself bored, annoyed, and frustrated. I used to love to be smashed around by hundreds of sweaty bodies while drinking, smoking, and jumping around like a maniac. Instead last night I felt like I was a hot-dog in an air tight pack! I couldn't even move, I couldn't breathe, the smoke was awful, and the drinks too strong! When did I ever complain about having a drink too strong? Suddenly I was also possessed by this fear that I was the oldest one in there, that I must look ridiculous... the average age was 24! I thought "What am I doing here? Who am I kidding? This is awful and I don't belong here anymore....". I then took a trip to the bathroom, and there were tons of girls who looked so stressed out while fixing their make-up and hair in front of the mirror. They were probably about 19 years old... but the sunken in look on their faces... who clearly have been abusing a bit too much the partying... made them look like grouchy ladies in their 60s. That vision made me feel a bit better, as I thought "Hell, I look way better than them, and I'm almost 20 years older". I walked out of the bathroom with a big smile on my face.

Today was the final decision of officially retiring from disco nights. Today I have done NOTHING! I have been completely useless! Something that bothers me to no end. It was a gorgeous warm and sunny day... and I laid around at home like a moron! That's it, I have had a wonderful time in the past years clubbing, and I surely don't want to spoil it by hating it. Therefore I have a theory that if something is not fun anymore, it must be stopped. I much rather use the money to go see a good play.

Wow, this decision suddenly makes me feel so grown up... I'm a big girl now! Please know that this does not mean I will start Bingo Nights now!!!

Do I have to go to LA to vote for the Italian elections?

SECOND ITALIAN CLASH...
As many of you know by now, I have lived abroad over the last decade or so. I'm one of those people who strongly believes that every vote counts. I love politics, doing my research before an election comes up, and I usually get pretty involved about my likings. With this said, it is easy to understand that although not physically in Italy, I have always made sure I was registered with the AIRE in order to vote.

Throughout the years I registered my residence in Norfolk VA, Orlando FL, Los Angeles CA, and London UK. It has always been a very easy process that instantly registers you in your new abroad residence. I once remembered to register myself the week before the elections... and I still received my voting card in time.

I moved to Milan on February 2nd, and on February 5th I went to register my new residence. I was told it would take officially 6 months to be active. However I was given a letter that suggested I was able to get my doctor, and prove my physical residence in Lombardy. Today the city hall was open to help people who have not yet received the voting card. I forgot to mention tomorrow and Monday we are having the regional elections. I went to get my voting card.... but I was turned down! I was told I must wait the 6 months before I can have the darn voting card. So I asked the lady-clerk "where should I go voting? back in LA or London?". She answered affirmative! So basically she was telling me that it's easier as an Italian citizen to vote abroad for Italian elections rather than in your own country! That makes NO sense!!! I registered myself about 2 months ago! Why does it take so long? I got so aggravated with the situation that I raised my voice and said "So as an Italian citizen by birth, as a punishment for having lived abroad for some time, I now have no right to vote at least temporarily. Isn't that against our constitution?". She freaked out while looking around as if I was crazy. She kept on repeating to me that "You're not a resident of the region of Lombardy yet!"... right, but I'm not a resident of Sardinia either since 1993! So in reality not only I can't vote, I have no region to vote for!

This is causing me so much aggravation I will get an ulcer!

My First Italian Clash.

One of my NYE resolutions has been going back to school. I'm determined that it will happen this year! Nothing is going to get in my way. A few weeks ago I had an interesting meeting with a representative from an Online University. Although they are fully accredited for their degrees... I just feel funny about getting my University degree online.

Today I got up early and proudly headed to the Open Day at the Bocconi University. I know they have a Business degree in Art and Communication. Which I find very appealing as it is related to my job. The whole place is buzzing with tons of high school students. The structure slightly reminds me of an American campus, so I instantly feel comfortable.... although thinking again about it was just a big, square and lacking in personality conglomerate of buildings.

I get my packet of info and look for the area that carries the sign of the degree I'm interested in. I introduce myself to a professor and she happily welcomes me. I start to explain my situation: being older and having a career I love, yet wanting to go back to school to get my so long wished upon degree. She starts looking nervous, and tells me that it is highly recommended to frequent all courses, as this particular faculty has been carefully designed, and all professors take a lot of pride in their work. Ok, I understand and respect that! However I have a full time job that I really enjoy, and I plan on studying on my own or taking evening classes. She firmly say that Bocconi does NOT offer evening classes... then she asks me how old I am as my appearance is very confusing and not clear (precisely her words!). I answer: 38. She looks at me and her eyes widen so much I fear her eye balls will drop on the floor, and bounce around as marbles! She then even asks me if I have a family and children! I say no, as I'm thinking this is really none of her darn business!! She is totally trying to make me feel too old to go back to school! She even tells me (as if I hadn't thought about it myself), "you know most of the people here are in between 18 and 24. Do you want to come here just so you can have a piece of paper to be proud of?". Is this a real professor? One I surely don't want!!!

Suddenly while she is talking all sort of random statements, sayings, and friends' quotes from the States are swirling in my head... "it's never too late! go for it! you deserve it! why not? why shouldn't you? the sky is the limit! you can do it! take the challenge! obstacles are challenges!". Yeah! And one more quote quickly flashed through my mind as well, a quote from a colleague from last week "You know.... you know you will never be fully Italian again, never ever!". I thought he was been a bit drastic... but now I think he was right.

What is this professor's deal? Why is she not encouraging me to sign up, but rather trying to scare me away. She is telling me that is going to be a big responsibility, that when I get home from work I will have to sit in my room and study! Hellooo!!!??? Didn't I just tell her I'm 38, I didn't say I'm retarded, I said I'm 38!!! She doesn't even know me! I used to work a full time job (where I usually stayed longer than my scheduled 8 hours), additionally I had a part-time job, I took an improv/sketch comedy class, I performed on stage with a theatre ensemble (keep in mind that involves rehearsals), I religiously went to the gym, hiking, volunteering for green causes, and managed to have also a busy social life. Oh wait, but that was back in the USA... there you instantly become a master of multi-tasking, it's in the air you breathe. Here age goes against you, and having ONE job seems to be too time consuming for me to study on my free time. Why? Now more than ever I want to go back! "Professor My Class is so Awesome and Cannot be missed" is not going to tell me what to do... and she will never have the pleasure to teach me a thing. I will not stop here, I have more universities to visit and I will be enrolled before the end of the year.
Morale of the story? I'm too stubborn and determined when I want something. Bring it on, I'm ready!

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

I recently read High Fidelity. I had not even realized until now that there the movie came out in 2000 with John Cusack, and that I had seen it. I read this book incredibly fast on my bus and metro rides. It is very easy reading and doesn't take too much focus to follow the story.
My thoughts? Mmmh, it's the story told in first person of a generic guy like there are millions of out there. At times I recognized myself in his statements and observations, but I have always joked about the fact that I think like a dude often. In other parts it helped me understand how simple minded most men are. There really is not a complex chain of thoughts behind their decision making other than basic cavemen impulses. One of my favorite quotes that I could relate with was: "There are men who will phone you, and men who will not phone you. I would really, really like to be one in the last group. They are "true" men. The kind of men that women have on their mind when they complain about us". I find that to be true. Women are just as idiotic as men. A man who will call you all the time and be very nice to you, will be judged as an annoying prince. Yet, as soon as we are ignored by a men and treated not so nicely... we instantly want the dirty S.O.B.! Why? Masochists, I think most women are naturally prone to be abused!

I liked it, and I did not like it at the same time. I liked the honesty of the character, how he revealed himself. How he is so pathetic, he is such a loser and deep inside he knows it. I hated that his girlfriend went back to him! She is smart, successful, and stylish... why does she need to be with him? He does not deserve her, he's a worthless douche-bag! Her explanation for wanting to go back with him is "I'm too tired not to be with you!". It makes women look bad! It shows that women are weak and must have a man in their life, even if he is the biggest loser who can't even pay for her dinner! At the same time, this ending as much as it caused me deep anger issues, it made it so human... she goes back to him after her father dies. She is lost and he is the one who has known her the longest. Although I don't agree with the choice I can understand the her fears and need to be with someone. And just when I think that he might redeem himself in a tiny slice of my respect... he once again disappoints me by wondering if this is going to be a "good" thing for him to have his girl back!!! This is the type of man to stay away from, he's ignorant, clueless and lacks ambition.

Final thoughts? Yes, I would recommend this book, especially to women. It's an eye opener.

Political Parties in Italy...

...how many do we really need? As of now, I believe I counted 24 parties. I must admit that during the last decade I got more and more involved into learning about the USA politics and discovering which party was more adapt to my beliefs. By the time it was election time, I never had a doubt who I was going to give my vote to. The USA are very basic, it's either one way or the other. They have two main parties (the rest are pretty much not even counted for), so it simplifies when it's time to go voting.

Now I find myself back in Italy, a place that is my home by birth, but that I know maybe too little about. I know the main parties obviously as I have been always very well informed on politics since a young age. However now I have been doing my research, because I don't like just randomly giving my vote away. I'm one of these person that believes that every single vote counts. Not only the Italian government is going through a very rough moment, to add more confusion there are way too many parties! Since I left some have been added and some changed their name a few times, to get a refreshed look... This is a nightmare in my opinion! I have followed quite a bit of debates and I think they are all full of BS! It makes me mad that I don't know who I want to vote for. Why is such a beautiful country so rotten at its core?

Last night I went to a very fun dinner-party. It was sponsored by a political party, they had a few simple but good speeches. What was very interesting and entertaining is that to cause the media to talk about them and do their campaign in the most unique and creative way... they are using drag queens! Now I'm sure that a few of you are thinking "That is perfect for you! You love being around queens!". He he he, that is true. And I did have a blast, we danced all night as the popular and colorful drag queens played DJ. They are using this tactic of satire to ridicule the whole system. Unfortunately dancing and a few laughs does not conquer my vote. I need to see and know more!

I know for sure who I will NOT sign for. But weeks are going by and I need to make up my mind by March 28th!!! Sometime I feel like the Italian government system is like a circus, like a big circus in a Fellini movie...

Mr Colombia thinks is way cool!

Thursday night was one of those nights that are so random and fun, you feel like it's part of a comedy screenplay. It all started with my new party entourage, myself the Italian, the English and the German... I know it sounds like the beginning of a joke, but this is actually true. We were hopping from bar to bar having aperitivo after work. There really was not a specific plan, other than being outside socializing and drinking. At some point we were approached by this older man who had been at the last bar for a while as well. He looked like Robert De Niro. He was dressed up to the top... a bit much really, it was borderline on being baroque in my opinion. I will call him Mr Colombia. He must have been in his late 50s. He was wearing a very nice dark gray coordinated matching suit, complete of tie and vest. However he had way too many jewels! Very sparkling bling-blings everywhere! Bracelets, rings, and even a two string diamond decoration around the knot of his tie... And let's not mention the liters of perfume that he was immersed in. He told us he was Italian, but he had been living in Bogota' - Colombia for many years now. He claimed to work in fashion.
Since I do love meeting crazy people, I of course had to invite him to our table to know more about him. Mr Colombia never shut up! He just wanted to be at the center of attention and flirted with men and women. Towards the end of the night he invited us to go with him to a club, we accept. He then told us it would cost Eur 15... we think it's an ok price to go dancing. But doesn't Mr Colombia need to go to sleep? I think it's getting a bit late for him... but he seems much more alert than any of us... not sure it's a natural high... So we get a the club, we are the only ones there and quite honestly I did not feel like paying for geting into a place that is EMPTY! So we told him that we would rather go somewhere else... and crazy Mr Colombia got mad and annoyed with us. He scribbled his email and phone number on a piece of paper for me, so I could go visit him in Bogota'... seriously? Why do I always attract the crazies???

Parco Sempione and Castello Sforzesco

My new weekend routine includes a run through a a really busy park bustling with young families with their children, singles running with ipods to keep in shape, and tons of couples. Italians love to make out in public under the sun whether they are 16 or 60! Maybe it's because spring is coming, and they all act like horny rabbits! They are everywhere and not ashamed to be lost in each others' eyes and hugs and kisses. Is that real love? When people look so happy and worry free? When they can't stop exchanging saliva at every corner? I'm not sure, I have ever been under this spell. My types of love have always been so demolishing, languishing, complicated and dramatically impossible... very Shakespearean... this happy joy-joy type of love is just foreign to me and scares me!
I finally leave the park just behind me to stroll through the castle. Here again I see nothing but LOVE! Japanese couples come here to get married every weekend. How much does that cost? Is this the city of Love? I thought that was Rome!!! I'm not bothered by it, I think they all look so beautiful... maybe I'm just a bit jealous!

I must admit that more days and weeks go by, the happier I am about my return home. It feels so nice and right to be here again. I had almost forgotten how beautiful we Italians are. How we enjoy every moment of life. When we are not at work, we are NOT working. It's either aperitivo or espresso time. You don't rush to go get a coffee, you order it, sit at the table outside with you family or friends and enjoy the sun, while catching up and telling them everything that happened to you lately. We do LOVE to talk! I'm not saying it's the perfect country, I feel that the government and political situation is awful... but can any of you tell me of a perfect place? What I know is that this suits me perfectly right here right now!

More people watching chronicles

Ok, I admit it... secretly spying on strangers on buses, trams, metros, and around the streets has become my new addiction. I urge to want to write stories about them all. It just amuses me to first study them in every possible detail I can in the few minutes I have to share with them, and them spice up the story with my perception of them.

MR ARTURO AND HIS DOG
Last week I saw one of the most beautiful man I have ever seen. He must have been on his late 70s at least. He was very distinguished and classy. He was tall and slim, wore with elegance a long coat, one of those dark green coats that slightly remind you of Sherlock Holmes. He also wore some sort of black fedora hat. Although he walked with a cane, he still had a very regal and straight up walk. His feature were the ones of a king from a deck of cards, with perfectly trimmed white beard, and white hair picking out of his hat. He was not alone, in fact it looked like he was taking his dog for his morning walk. The dog really looked just like him! He was some sort of hound with medium length hair, that on his face made it resemble to his owner's beard and hair. They both had a very serious look on their faces, walked at the same pace, with the same posture. Those are the times I wish I had my camera with me and jumped out of the bus to steal a picture of them. They were so beautiful, calm, and connected.

TEENS ATTRACTION
Two teenagers, a boy and a girl, just meet at the bus stop. They get in the bus together. They are both mixed. She looks half Italian and half Latin American, she is super cute, with very long hair, her honey hue skin, she is full of life and solar. He is probably half Italian and half North African, he's quite tall and built like a model. He has that nonchalant bored look, and he's very calm. She likes him... a lot! She is trying to find out everything about him, what is his name, where does hi live, where does he go to school... every time she asks him a question she gets closer to him in the cutest flirty way. He loves the attention, and he answers to her with a rogue whisper, maybe he does it on purpose to make her go closer to him. Indeed I can't hear his answers very well. Finally she asks him how old he is.... he replies with pride and trying to impress her "I'm 16 and a half... not, I'm almost 17!". She is in awe! She replies: "I'm almost 16...". Oh My God, how cute are they? They are so cute I ended up missing my freaking bus stop! It was like watching a movie from the 80s... I wanted to spy on them all day!

STRANGERS CHATTING
This is one of my favorite stories. The North of Italy has a bad reputation for being racist. I'm discovering that is not like that at all. People are quite friendly and used to be around other cultures. It's definitely obvious in the younger generations, when in the morning you see kids who are Italian by birth, but have the most diverse backgrounds: from Chinese to Algerian, to Egyptian, Mexican, Vietnamese, Nigerian, etc. Kids have no problem being around each other, and I love that. But I love it even more when I see older people making the effort to be good citizens by accepting and being friendly. On a Sunday, an old Italian man got on the bus. There was one sit available next to a middle aged men who looked foreign. The old Italian man, let's call him Antonio, asked if he could sit next to the younger guy. He then started to ask him where he was from, and the guy replied from Egypt (I will call him Asim). Antonio got really excited! He told him he had studied everything about Egypt but never had the chance to go visit. They had the most fun chat together, they were laughing and telling each other stories. When one of them had to leave, they shook hands, and Antonio promised him he would go see Asim at the restaurant where he worked as a chef.
This little event made me happy, in a day and age where being judgmental is so easy with everything that we are being fed by the media, it's refreshing to see that some of us know that we are all of the same race: HUMAN!

Hollow Beauties Chatting

On my bus ride in the morning I sometime choose to plug myself with my music device to happily isolate myself, while surrounded by the most diverse people. Other times I really enjoy ease dropping on my travel companions conversations.
I find out quite a bit of information in 30 minutes. If you think about it when watching a movie by that time you have most likely discovered the plot, or seen an entire short.
This morning I noticed two beautiful girls, they were models, they had no make up on, long straight hair, and their never ending legs! The first sort of resembled Carla Bruni, the second looked like a young Brooke Shields from Blue Lagoon. They communicated in English which was not their first language, they both had heavy accents and struggled a little to think of the right words. Were they Eastern European maybe?
At first I was not really listening to their conversation, I just softly heard a back and forth of "blah, blah, blah...". I was totally distracted by my own fervid imagination. I had in fact in my head started to plan their day. They would arrive at a studio for a photo shoot. They would casually get their hair and make up professionally done while looking bored. Them they would wear the most bizarre and amazing designer outfits while some super trendy photographer would direct them. Big fans would make their hair blow like the wind. Then a day while I was going through the pages of a magazine I would recognize them on a glossy ad looking so magically stunning, unreachable, perfect and unreal with their lost look into something far away.
All in a sudden I felt a bit of envy... and I'm NOT an envious person by nature. I admire, I don't envy. But right at that particular moment, I thought to myself how lucky they must have been. They are young, good looking, they travel the world, have busy schedules, and make decent money.
As my curiosity grew I decided to switch on my "secret service's ears", and catch every word they were saying. I will from now on refer to them as Carla and Brooke, although those are not their names, and if they were it would be purely coincidental (and I would have super powers I was not aware of).
Carla was bitching about some ex boyfriend of hers. The problem was that he had a Ferrari... and it had gotten so boring and old for her to ride around Milan in such a show off car. (Wow!!! Those models had morals and were deeper than I had expected). Brooke agrees with Carla's condition, so she starts to share her story about her present boyfriend. Brooke is very upset because her boyfriend wants to buy a brand new convertible Bentley!!!!
(I think "niiice"! If you are not aware of what this car looks like, click here:
http://autos.yahoo.com/bentley_continental_gtc_convertible/).
Why is she upset? She would like him to buy... a Jeep??? Actually, to give you a better idea, here her exact words (her
English is not so great): "That is just like my new boyfriend! I'm so angry at him. He decide to want to buy a cabriolet Bentley, the one the roof go down! But I want he to buy a Jeep, I like Jeep (oh no, bad taste!!!). I refuse to go in car around with no roof in this city, No, really, my hair get dirty and messy very much. He only to want to drive car with no roof to show me beautiful around the city. Everybody knows I'm beautiful, I want to be in a Jeep and give me the rest of the money...." (I think she means the difference in price in between the Bentley and the Jeep). OMG, is this for real? She goes on and on, and I'm disgusted! Give you the money? Are you a model or a prostitute? This is the kind of people I fear! Ignorance is terrifying to me especially when mixed with a good dose of stupidity. Instantly I know they are the typical girls who don't read or watch the news, who know nothing about history, art or philosophy. How ironic that "something" so pretty on the outside, it's so empty and boring inside (no pun intended!).
All of a sudden my train of thoughts has switched. I think this is the kind of woman I would hate to be, the kind I would never be. Now it totally makes sense that they are so good at posing in front of the lens with that "I'm thinking of nothing" look in their eyes. I could never be friends with them. Just for your information, I do know and I am friends with some models who are very smart and worldly. This is just the story of "Clare & Brooke". Then I began placing myself in the shoes of a man. As a man I would not be interested in woman I can only show off for her looks, yet could not have an intelligent conversation with. I guess that if I was of the "male kind", I would only enjoy her company for one quick night!
So, who is this man dating Brooke? A man who can afford a Bentley convertible, a $197,500 worth automobile!!! Is he rich but ancient like a centenary oak? Is he loaded, but short, bold, ugly, fat and with halitosis? Or could be wealthy and decent looking, and successful? Maybe a trust fund baby? A super insecure yuppie? First he must find a hot model, then he must get an outrageously expensive car, so he can ride around and show off his "belongings". That's a type of man I would never date even if I was the dumb hot model. My final theory? The girl brain's size of a pea, and the guy penis is a perfect replica of a baby carrot.
Now I feel sorry for them. I now know that if I was a guy I would date a woman that is not just pretty, but would have to be as ambitious and smart as me. And we would probably both have fun sporty cars, and we would not care about having others staring at us. Same goes as for the real me, my girl version.
Having a brain is beautiful and priceless.