I'm an awkward outsider!

My biggest fear was to move back to Europe and feel as a stranger in my own country.... well I made it happen! I admit I never lived in the UK before, but I have visited on several occasions both on leisure or business and always felt at home.
I have been here for two months, and I totally don't blend here. I'm such an outcast! I don't even properly understand people speaking around me. I swear if I have to ask one more time "Excuse me, what did you say?", I might as well shut up and pretend I know what they are talking about while smiling and nodding like a dumb ass.

Things I learned tonight:
* The boss likes to have parties and get everyone drunk at work (that's fun, I can get used to that!)
* Bon Jovi is a Wanker! I didn't even know what a "wanker" meant! Needless to say after a few glasses of wine and the polite explanation from one of my co-workers... I managed to call anyone around me a "wanker"! I did teach them in return the term "douche-bag"!
* I had an amazing conversation with a 70 year old man, I feel much wiser and smarter now!
* I'm not sure they get my humor... but they do think my accent is hilarious! Bunch of wankers!
* I feel and I think I'm older than everyone else.
* For the first time in my life I'm actually aware of my height... and I don't like it!
* I feel like a baby who has to re-learn EVERYTHING!
* I was invited to the Big Chill. I guess it's some sort of fun summer festival... I think it's the British version of Burning Man. Can I just say that I have never in my life being camping, shared a tent with anyone, nor had to be deprived of showering for three days in a row... not sure I would survive that.
* They just don't get that I don't eat mammals and birds as a choice. I never liked the taste of meat as a kid, although I was forced by my parents to eat it. I now don't eat land and air animals because it's my choice. Why? Because it's cruel and I love animals (alive ones), and for health reasons. I have been chatted my head away about what I'm missing by not eating an English roast! Can I just say... YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME WANKER!
* I haven't managed to dress warm and still look sexy yet. It would help if had my stylist I call Cookie here.
* I know nothing about today's Italian pop-culture... it makes me feel like a fake Italian... however I know way too much about useless American celebrities gossip.

Moral of the story? None really, just that it's a Monday night and after too many bottles of wine I now wish it was Friday night!