Mr Colombia thinks is way cool!

Thursday night was one of those nights that are so random and fun, you feel like it's part of a comedy screenplay. It all started with my new party entourage, myself the Italian, the English and the German... I know it sounds like the beginning of a joke, but this is actually true. We were hopping from bar to bar having aperitivo after work. There really was not a specific plan, other than being outside socializing and drinking. At some point we were approached by this older man who had been at the last bar for a while as well. He looked like Robert De Niro. He was dressed up to the top... a bit much really, it was borderline on being baroque in my opinion. I will call him Mr Colombia. He must have been in his late 50s. He was wearing a very nice dark gray coordinated matching suit, complete of tie and vest. However he had way too many jewels! Very sparkling bling-blings everywhere! Bracelets, rings, and even a two string diamond decoration around the knot of his tie... And let's not mention the liters of perfume that he was immersed in. He told us he was Italian, but he had been living in Bogota' - Colombia for many years now. He claimed to work in fashion.
Since I do love meeting crazy people, I of course had to invite him to our table to know more about him. Mr Colombia never shut up! He just wanted to be at the center of attention and flirted with men and women. Towards the end of the night he invited us to go with him to a club, we accept. He then told us it would cost Eur 15... we think it's an ok price to go dancing. But doesn't Mr Colombia need to go to sleep? I think it's getting a bit late for him... but he seems much more alert than any of us... not sure it's a natural high... So we get a the club, we are the only ones there and quite honestly I did not feel like paying for geting into a place that is EMPTY! So we told him that we would rather go somewhere else... and crazy Mr Colombia got mad and annoyed with us. He scribbled his email and phone number on a piece of paper for me, so I could go visit him in Bogota'... seriously? Why do I always attract the crazies???

Parco Sempione and Castello Sforzesco

My new weekend routine includes a run through a a really busy park bustling with young families with their children, singles running with ipods to keep in shape, and tons of couples. Italians love to make out in public under the sun whether they are 16 or 60! Maybe it's because spring is coming, and they all act like horny rabbits! They are everywhere and not ashamed to be lost in each others' eyes and hugs and kisses. Is that real love? When people look so happy and worry free? When they can't stop exchanging saliva at every corner? I'm not sure, I have ever been under this spell. My types of love have always been so demolishing, languishing, complicated and dramatically impossible... very Shakespearean... this happy joy-joy type of love is just foreign to me and scares me!
I finally leave the park just behind me to stroll through the castle. Here again I see nothing but LOVE! Japanese couples come here to get married every weekend. How much does that cost? Is this the city of Love? I thought that was Rome!!! I'm not bothered by it, I think they all look so beautiful... maybe I'm just a bit jealous!

I must admit that more days and weeks go by, the happier I am about my return home. It feels so nice and right to be here again. I had almost forgotten how beautiful we Italians are. How we enjoy every moment of life. When we are not at work, we are NOT working. It's either aperitivo or espresso time. You don't rush to go get a coffee, you order it, sit at the table outside with you family or friends and enjoy the sun, while catching up and telling them everything that happened to you lately. We do LOVE to talk! I'm not saying it's the perfect country, I feel that the government and political situation is awful... but can any of you tell me of a perfect place? What I know is that this suits me perfectly right here right now!

More people watching chronicles

Ok, I admit it... secretly spying on strangers on buses, trams, metros, and around the streets has become my new addiction. I urge to want to write stories about them all. It just amuses me to first study them in every possible detail I can in the few minutes I have to share with them, and them spice up the story with my perception of them.

MR ARTURO AND HIS DOG
Last week I saw one of the most beautiful man I have ever seen. He must have been on his late 70s at least. He was very distinguished and classy. He was tall and slim, wore with elegance a long coat, one of those dark green coats that slightly remind you of Sherlock Holmes. He also wore some sort of black fedora hat. Although he walked with a cane, he still had a very regal and straight up walk. His feature were the ones of a king from a deck of cards, with perfectly trimmed white beard, and white hair picking out of his hat. He was not alone, in fact it looked like he was taking his dog for his morning walk. The dog really looked just like him! He was some sort of hound with medium length hair, that on his face made it resemble to his owner's beard and hair. They both had a very serious look on their faces, walked at the same pace, with the same posture. Those are the times I wish I had my camera with me and jumped out of the bus to steal a picture of them. They were so beautiful, calm, and connected.

TEENS ATTRACTION
Two teenagers, a boy and a girl, just meet at the bus stop. They get in the bus together. They are both mixed. She looks half Italian and half Latin American, she is super cute, with very long hair, her honey hue skin, she is full of life and solar. He is probably half Italian and half North African, he's quite tall and built like a model. He has that nonchalant bored look, and he's very calm. She likes him... a lot! She is trying to find out everything about him, what is his name, where does hi live, where does he go to school... every time she asks him a question she gets closer to him in the cutest flirty way. He loves the attention, and he answers to her with a rogue whisper, maybe he does it on purpose to make her go closer to him. Indeed I can't hear his answers very well. Finally she asks him how old he is.... he replies with pride and trying to impress her "I'm 16 and a half... not, I'm almost 17!". She is in awe! She replies: "I'm almost 16...". Oh My God, how cute are they? They are so cute I ended up missing my freaking bus stop! It was like watching a movie from the 80s... I wanted to spy on them all day!

STRANGERS CHATTING
This is one of my favorite stories. The North of Italy has a bad reputation for being racist. I'm discovering that is not like that at all. People are quite friendly and used to be around other cultures. It's definitely obvious in the younger generations, when in the morning you see kids who are Italian by birth, but have the most diverse backgrounds: from Chinese to Algerian, to Egyptian, Mexican, Vietnamese, Nigerian, etc. Kids have no problem being around each other, and I love that. But I love it even more when I see older people making the effort to be good citizens by accepting and being friendly. On a Sunday, an old Italian man got on the bus. There was one sit available next to a middle aged men who looked foreign. The old Italian man, let's call him Antonio, asked if he could sit next to the younger guy. He then started to ask him where he was from, and the guy replied from Egypt (I will call him Asim). Antonio got really excited! He told him he had studied everything about Egypt but never had the chance to go visit. They had the most fun chat together, they were laughing and telling each other stories. When one of them had to leave, they shook hands, and Antonio promised him he would go see Asim at the restaurant where he worked as a chef.
This little event made me happy, in a day and age where being judgmental is so easy with everything that we are being fed by the media, it's refreshing to see that some of us know that we are all of the same race: HUMAN!

Hollow Beauties Chatting

On my bus ride in the morning I sometime choose to plug myself with my music device to happily isolate myself, while surrounded by the most diverse people. Other times I really enjoy ease dropping on my travel companions conversations.
I find out quite a bit of information in 30 minutes. If you think about it when watching a movie by that time you have most likely discovered the plot, or seen an entire short.
This morning I noticed two beautiful girls, they were models, they had no make up on, long straight hair, and their never ending legs! The first sort of resembled Carla Bruni, the second looked like a young Brooke Shields from Blue Lagoon. They communicated in English which was not their first language, they both had heavy accents and struggled a little to think of the right words. Were they Eastern European maybe?
At first I was not really listening to their conversation, I just softly heard a back and forth of "blah, blah, blah...". I was totally distracted by my own fervid imagination. I had in fact in my head started to plan their day. They would arrive at a studio for a photo shoot. They would casually get their hair and make up professionally done while looking bored. Them they would wear the most bizarre and amazing designer outfits while some super trendy photographer would direct them. Big fans would make their hair blow like the wind. Then a day while I was going through the pages of a magazine I would recognize them on a glossy ad looking so magically stunning, unreachable, perfect and unreal with their lost look into something far away.
All in a sudden I felt a bit of envy... and I'm NOT an envious person by nature. I admire, I don't envy. But right at that particular moment, I thought to myself how lucky they must have been. They are young, good looking, they travel the world, have busy schedules, and make decent money.
As my curiosity grew I decided to switch on my "secret service's ears", and catch every word they were saying. I will from now on refer to them as Carla and Brooke, although those are not their names, and if they were it would be purely coincidental (and I would have super powers I was not aware of).
Carla was bitching about some ex boyfriend of hers. The problem was that he had a Ferrari... and it had gotten so boring and old for her to ride around Milan in such a show off car. (Wow!!! Those models had morals and were deeper than I had expected). Brooke agrees with Carla's condition, so she starts to share her story about her present boyfriend. Brooke is very upset because her boyfriend wants to buy a brand new convertible Bentley!!!!
(I think "niiice"! If you are not aware of what this car looks like, click here:
http://autos.yahoo.com/bentley_continental_gtc_convertible/).
Why is she upset? She would like him to buy... a Jeep??? Actually, to give you a better idea, here her exact words (her
English is not so great): "That is just like my new boyfriend! I'm so angry at him. He decide to want to buy a cabriolet Bentley, the one the roof go down! But I want he to buy a Jeep, I like Jeep (oh no, bad taste!!!). I refuse to go in car around with no roof in this city, No, really, my hair get dirty and messy very much. He only to want to drive car with no roof to show me beautiful around the city. Everybody knows I'm beautiful, I want to be in a Jeep and give me the rest of the money...." (I think she means the difference in price in between the Bentley and the Jeep). OMG, is this for real? She goes on and on, and I'm disgusted! Give you the money? Are you a model or a prostitute? This is the kind of people I fear! Ignorance is terrifying to me especially when mixed with a good dose of stupidity. Instantly I know they are the typical girls who don't read or watch the news, who know nothing about history, art or philosophy. How ironic that "something" so pretty on the outside, it's so empty and boring inside (no pun intended!).
All of a sudden my train of thoughts has switched. I think this is the kind of woman I would hate to be, the kind I would never be. Now it totally makes sense that they are so good at posing in front of the lens with that "I'm thinking of nothing" look in their eyes. I could never be friends with them. Just for your information, I do know and I am friends with some models who are very smart and worldly. This is just the story of "Clare & Brooke". Then I began placing myself in the shoes of a man. As a man I would not be interested in woman I can only show off for her looks, yet could not have an intelligent conversation with. I guess that if I was of the "male kind", I would only enjoy her company for one quick night!
So, who is this man dating Brooke? A man who can afford a Bentley convertible, a $197,500 worth automobile!!! Is he rich but ancient like a centenary oak? Is he loaded, but short, bold, ugly, fat and with halitosis? Or could be wealthy and decent looking, and successful? Maybe a trust fund baby? A super insecure yuppie? First he must find a hot model, then he must get an outrageously expensive car, so he can ride around and show off his "belongings". That's a type of man I would never date even if I was the dumb hot model. My final theory? The girl brain's size of a pea, and the guy penis is a perfect replica of a baby carrot.
Now I feel sorry for them. I now know that if I was a guy I would date a woman that is not just pretty, but would have to be as ambitious and smart as me. And we would probably both have fun sporty cars, and we would not care about having others staring at us. Same goes as for the real me, my girl version.
Having a brain is beautiful and priceless.

Americans and Italians...

... a few differences I noticed during the last few weeks. Please note that this is supposed to be funny. Don't take any of it personal... if you do, you have no sense of humor!

POLITICS
Italians: They complain about all the politicians, they hate them all. The news love trashing them and advertising all the corruption, sex and drug scandles they are involved in. It's worse than a "telenovela-meet-big brother" contest! They read all the newspapers and watch the news religiously. They also like to complain about being Italian, and living in Italy.

Americans: Many refuse to follow the news. Not being aware of bad news, it's like fixing the problem and making it better... right? They love the party they belong to, they are proud of being Americans, and to live in the land of opportunity.

FASHION
Italian Women: They must follow the latest trends in clothes, shoes, purses, phones, sun glasses, make up, haircuts, hair styles and colors. However they have awful hands, they just don't believe in manicures!

American women: This needs to be extended more, as each state has their own trends. Some are stuck in the 80's... why did they pick that decade by the way? Fashion evolved up to then... and then what? Some are stuck in some kind of "all year 'round beach-wear", with their flip-flops and shorts. It drastically changes in the main cities as NYC or LA where the uber fashionistas are very Cover girl! But cross-country American women are obsessed by their mani-pedi. Make up seems to be more in demand among the younger crowd.

Italian men: Just like their women, they love to follow fashion trends. From clothes, to shoes, to haircuts and sunglasses. But why are their hands in much better shape than women's??? Maybe because they don't do house chores... Having a nice expensive car is also a big men's fashion statement.

American men: For the big part they wear whatever is available. Although khakis and polo shirts are still a big hit! Shoes are not a priority in their fashion repertoire... but bright t-shirts with big logos of their favorite sport's team surely is!

SEX
Italian women: You still easily meet plenty of women who have only been with one or two men in their entire life, and they are happily coupled with someone (either number one or number two!). I'm not sure if I feel sorry for them or if I slightly envy their pure innocence mixed with the ignorance of not knowing what else is out there...

American women: You still easily meet plenty of women who do not remember how men they have slept with... this is sort of fascinating to me. It makes me feel sad somehow. It's like sex has turn into some non-special/routine action like going grocery, eating, or pooping... then again it is an animal urge! But I like to practice this basic instinct only when I feel it's special (even if is just a little... magic?)... one more sign that I just don't fit in either criteria, maybe I'm just an alien!

Only Me Portions :-)

I noticed I highly enjoy buying individual portions of food. It must the freedom feeling of thinking, this is JUST mine! I love it that now they have neatly pre-packaged fruits and vegetables for singles. I can buy 1 eggplant, 2 bananas, a small bag of pre-cut and pre-washed greens for my salad. It's wonderful, I always used to throw half of my stuff away, now they have finally realized that there is a high demand for "singles' food", we eat too for goodness sake... just not as much as two people would!
Additionally... I must admit that I think it's cute! It makes me feel like a big girl buying my own single artichoke!!! I also like it because I can have a bigger variety of colorful stuff in my fridge.
Ok, I'm a nerd, and yes I do make grocery lists before I go to the store, and I do cross things off with my pen as I put them in my basket! Hey, I'm a Virgo I can't help it being organized and detailed!!!!
Gotta run now to re-organize my socks' drawer by color, length and material.....

Priceless Moments!

Today after work I quickly went to buy a bottle of wine at the store by my house. I'm gingerly walking towards the register as marching at the rhythm of whatever I'm listening on my iPod. There is a large area by the deli products, a girl is walking ahead of me, and there is a man in business suit walking towards me. The man is checking out the girl in front of me... to the point that as she passes by him, he makes an abrupt full stop and turns around to check her out... mostly he's checking out her ass! I witness the whole very theatrical and humorous deal, I actually confront him by staring back at him straight in the eye, and I have a very satisfied smirk on my face... sort of saying "I caught you!!". He stares back at me with a confused look over his face.
The reason why I'm sharing this story is because as it happened and the way it happened, I realized that this is perfectly fine! Yes, because in Italy you're allowed to stare, to be obvious of noticing somebody or something around you, and to look at strangers right in their eyes. It's not rude, it's part of our culture to acknowledge each other.
In some mother countries, even in ridiculously small places, such as elevators, people try to politely ignore each other. We don't! We greet each other, and immediately start a conversation. We have smart chats(even if sometime we don't agree the subject)with taxi drivers, or strangers on the bus, in shops, at the bank. We just LOVE to STARE and TALK!!!

PS: The image is of Valentina Crepax that has forever been my muse when observing human behavior...