Un-United we stand!

We (Italians) are one of the most fascinating breeds on earth! We love to complain, and whine, and scream! We do always look good while doing so, because we are quite stylish and fashionable! Last month we went to vote and guess what? Nobody won! We are so "perfectly" divided in Italy that we can't even win an election, whether would the winner be an insane comedian, a multi-millionaire who has commited several crimes or a not so charismatic guy who loves to speak by metaphores! What is the problem? Is it that we are so tired we don't even care about who we vote for any longer? Is it that the choices were not so exciting? Why is it so hard to bring in some change? And when I talk about change I'm not chanting in ode to the mad/sad comedian! When the new mayor of Milan was elected in 2011 I went to Duomo square to celebrate with my friends. It was exhilariting, contagious, and I got an optimistic look back on my native country. I thought, that after all, maybe it could happen here too... maybe inside of me I was telling myself "Yes We Can"! It's a strange feeling for me being able to vote for two countries that are so different in their political ways. Anyway, going back to the reason of my worries and disbelief is the result of this past election. I can't believe it really happened, I can't believe that "we" don't know what we want! Adn since we don't know, and our political representive keep arguing and playing as kids at the playground, our President decided he had enough of this crap and he thought that he better give back the lead of the country to the one who had the least votes along with 10 "wise men"... no joke! They call them "the 10 wise men"! (we are in the land of the Pope after all!!!). So now we are back again with a Technical Government, rather than a political one that seems to have temper tantrums, and it will be lead by people who are mostly experts in finance, economics and such... not bad as a background... but maybe it would be nice if they had a clue about politics too!?!?!? And what about women??? Why aren't there any "wise women"??? I was quite delighted at the election of Laura Boldrini as President of Camera dei Deputati, a woman with a very extensive and succesful experience in politics and nonetheless in the UN. So now what? Now we will have to go vote again! Italian politics are a little like the games you play as a child and you almost always end up getting "sorry, try again, next time you'll be more lucky!". Will people forget who they voted for in two months and get an amazing new result?

Melancholic 2nd goodbye...

Once upon a time... or should I say twice upon a time, I moved to the US, the second time indeed to Florida. I was not too keen to be moving back to the US, quite honestly it was very stressful to leave behind (again) my family, friends and beautiful island. It was a deja-vue all too familiar to me... having to meet and make new friends over and over again, it has been my way of life since a very young age (oddly enough now it's the only way I cna see myself!). First landed in Panama City FL... WOW... just beautiful from a nature perspective.... gorgeous beaches, and doplhins, and birds of all shapes, sizes and colors... and NOTHING else! I decided that if Florida had to be my temporary home, then it had to be a little bigger than that. In within a couple of months I moved to Orlando. Although I always knew that it was a teporary fix, it was much bigger, it was much more multi-cultural and I found a job, that little I knew would have brought into my life some of my closest friends ever, the kind you call family! I started to work at British Airways Tours as a call center agent, I argued on the phone with people who wanted to book a room in Paris with the ocean view! or even better they wanted to get a euro-train pass to go from London to France (that's still ok and possible), to Africa and maybe Mexico! What?!?!? That's when I would put them on hold, gently hang up on them and go for a ciggy break with my awesome friends. Then what heppened? I actually got promoted to be a Trainer and I loved it!!! I got to travel a lot and I loved it!!! I got even closer to my Floridian circle of friends and I loved it!!! As all stories though, it had to end... British Airways Tours shut down and relocated to Jacksonville. I travelled that road so many times, Orlando-Jacksonville, Jacksonville-Orlando, through good times and bad times, blasting the music in my blue little Isuzu Amigo so loud that my ears would be ringing at the end of the ride. Listening to Moby, Outkast, Manu Chao and Madonna over and over and over. It was a little clip of my life, a little videoclip that included some wonderful people that luckily I still have in my life despite the distance. Why am I sharing all this? Because one of us, one of the friends from my treasured circle of trust, still works there and now she told me they are once again shutting down! It's so sad... I left that job in 2002, but I still have nice memories of it. It makes me sad that my friend and all the other people that worked so hard there are going to be left home! And it's all because of globalization, money, capitalism, money... eventually we become too expensive for large companies and they need to relocate where the dirty work is cheaper. Is it fair?

Pizza, Pasta & Pinocchio!

Wow, I had not realized that it has been two years since my last posting! I guess I've been busy or not so annoyed... yes, because I've come to the realization that I really need to tell the world how I feel mostly when I'm bothered, upset or disappointed. This weekend Italy had the elections to vote for the Senate and the Parliament, a chance to get things moving and a window of hope for improvement from a quite critical situation that has been carrying along for too long! Italy has been dragged to an awful financial crisis, sky rocketing unemployment, lack of benefits and protection towards workers who are underpaid and overworked, continuously raising taxes of all sorts (medical, school tuition, housing, having a pet... having to breath!)... the situation is not so far away from the crisis that has been submerging Greece and Spain, in fact we are third on the list by the EU judgement. Most of this picturesque and muddy reality has been the result of the poor and fraudulent political behaviour that has been ruling this nation for the past 20 years. Everybody complains about that ugly troll that goes by the name of Berlusconi, yet as of today's voting results it seems quite clear that a good 30% of this country is still supporting him! I'm angry, disappointed, disgusted and shocked! How can people be so stupid? Please don't get me wrong, I'm not one of these people who judges others if they have different opinions from my very own. I'm very democratic in believing that each individual has the freedom and right to have his own preference... but this is not what I call a "preference"! This is showing to have no brain to think for their own, this is showing that we love to be bossed around by an ignorant pimp with lots of money, this is showing that we are truly the land of good Pasta, Pizza, and PINOCCHIO! That must be why it's the one fairytale that has made it global from our country! We love listening to thieves and liars, and we love believing in any illusion they throw in our gullible faces. We cheer with joy while drinking our wine and eating our lasagna! Stereotypical? Well... not so far from the truth after all... I know I'm not one of these brainless creatures, and I know that the people I call friends aren't either, however there is a large amount of masochists who still will do anything to support that donkey face (with all respect to actual donkeys which I think are really pretty). Tonight, a night that I thought might have marked a change, a night that I dreamed that was going to be somewhat similar to November 6th when Obama got re-elected... well tonight for the first time I really regret having moved back to a place where I really don't belong to any longer! I think I'll move anywhere, I might even move just to Switzerland to work in a coffee-shop to make cappuccinos! Staying here right now would mean accepting this absurd nonsense... and I just can't!

Yoga and my life as a comedy...

... no matter what I do and where I go I keep on having Life throw at me some situations that I can not help but share as I find ridiculous and hysterical! I really did naively believe that my urge to share my episodes would end once I would put into a show in LA... well I was wrong! I keep on collecting even funnier events! And while you all probably don't care to hear about them, I love torturing all of you with my rants, and bragging, and fake reviews I make up, and scrutinizing observations.
As I have mentioned before I am a big fan of NYE resolutions. One of them was to start going back to gym religiously like I used to and get back to my ideal shape. As I love having addictions, whether they are healthy or not, and I just can't give something up and not replace it with a brand new addiction or obsession; I am trying to give up lazing around on my PC and iPhone and substitute it with exercising. It is a fact I over produce adrenaline and need to burn out my excess energy.
So last month I proudly signed up at a gym. I have all the classes I want, the pool, everything... pretty much just like the gym I went to in LA... but a bit older looking. My pilates instructor is hilarious and seems like a coke addict, but she is really good. Today after the longest day at work I headed to the gym... cause now I am obsessed that I must go everyday, just to maintain my extreme behavior! I did my pilates class and I felt really good and happy. At which point I decided I needed to push myself a bit farther and stay also for the yoga class! What the heck, I was already there and warmed up, why waste it? Plus I thought I needed the extra zen moment to fully relax and get rid of any tension I had collected during my working hours. Well, I just did NOT know that my instructor would have been the mixed reincarnation of "Marquis de Sade" and Rasputin! Do I feel good and relaxed? NOOOO! I feel physically and mentally abused to be quite honest! He yelled at me, he did not let me take any breaks, and I'm pretty sure he made up a few poses that I never heard of or seen before... he probably got his inspiration from some sort of medieval torture manual! My instinct kept on telling me to run away from the class as fast as I could, but the my stubborn will power would not let of my ego! So I stayed for the whole hour with the evil yoga man giving us orders and getting upset if we were not doing things right. It was sort of a deja-vue from when I was in high-school and my German professor would only get angry at me if I made mistakes... I am not sure why he decided that I had to be the example for the rest of the slaves. By now I had decided that I would NEVER, EVER return to this hell class. At the end of session he had the guts to come and introduce himself to me and tell me how my body was perfectly created for yoga! Can I say "creepy and scary"? And why am I about to say what is coming up next I have no idea, but this thought makes me really laugh: can you imagine having sex with this freaky dude? this is what it would be like "No, you are NOT doing it right! Move that leg over there, no, not like that!!! Like this! Look at me, you are doing it wrong again!! Oh forget it, you are not good.... I will just fuck myself instead!"... that visual to me is so funny that I will find a way to add it in my next show for sure.
One last thought? Well... now I feel forced to go back to his class as he came to talk to me... I have this constant sense of duty that is very annoying to live with. I now feel that if I don't go back I will disappoint him and make him think that I was not good or tough enough! Who's the freak now?

Tamara Drew you can't enjoy the countryside without getting a little dirty

This is the perfect silly comedy to go watch on a boring rainy Sunday afternoon. I highly suggest to watch it when it's released for home entertaining. The story is simple and fun. The best part is the typically dark British humor. I think I laughed the most at the parts where my friends were horrified! That really revealed my evil side I guess! In my defense I would just like to say that I believe in karma and I love it when the cheater in the story gets served right! Even if that means being run over by a whole cattle! There are a few really good lines, but I think it probably lost most of its brilliant British humor in the translation... this is probably a movie that should be watched in its original version.

Tron Legacy

Tron Legacy it was in my humble opinion awesome! I do recognize this is not the kind of movie that everyone will love, some will hate it and some will love it, just simple as that. I was very curious after hearing so many extremely opposite reviews from my friends. Let's starts saying that I love the genre sci-fi and action. It also had all the winning elements, a suspenseful story that would keep you on the edge of your seat, a fantastic cast, spectacular special effects and the perfectly matched music by Daft Punk.

As I LOVE to over-analyze everything and anything that intrigues me I came up with a whole personal idea about the movie... which is probably not true but it is my theory and therefore I will stick to it! The character played by Jeff Bridges (which by the way I absolutely love him and I think he keeps on getting better and sexier), I think his character is traveling in within his subconscious. All the characters in the story could easily be his alter egos. Of course there is the obvious figure of Clu, his alter ego that he has opted to create to help him... who turns out to be his enemy... aren't we all our worst enemies? We are the ones who put obstacles to ourselves! Often in search of perfection we forget to see that what we were looking for is right in front of us... just as mentioned in the movie. His son represents his innocence and pure self still hopeful to succeed, still a fighting idealist... it's our inner child that is always wondering and easily believes in the impossible. Quorra is what he would like to be, his perfect side that is not even human, the paradox that perfection would not be naturally generated by him, he would find it and make it his project that everyone else wants to destroy. As entertaining as Zeus and Jenn were, I didn't really think they helped the plot go along.
Once again maybe I just read "a bit too much" into it, but I really found it to be quite a metaphysical and psychological story.

Last thoughts? It was HOT, HOT, HOT! But don't take my word for it, you might hate it!

2011 the year of resolutions!

First of all Happy New Year! I must say my past year has been a blessing. I have collected so many wise ways of being from all the people who I love and admire that I recognize the union of all this has helped me be who I am and where I am now. 2010 has been so good to me that I was quite sad it was already gone. That made me contemplate on all my past years, how I spent them, what I liked about them or what I disliked. As I have a philosophy of living with no regrets, I just make treasure of good and bad for the future. This time I might have set my goals a bit high, but I rather do so and aim for the fiction. I recently read a blog of some lady who claimed she never set resolutions nor goals for herself because she would consider that "setting herself for failure"... I think that is a very negative way of being and a masochist way of self-sabotaging herself. I totally disagree. For me it works great to set really high goals, then if needed I redesign them appropriately.
Last year I had three main goals, and I accomplished 2 out of 3. That makes me happy. This year, I decided to use some old ingredients from a couple of successes past and add a couple of long dragged dreams in it. The secret is to enjoy everything you do along the way, if you're not having fun in your life... well my dear you are doing something wrong and you should really give it some thought!

All the best wishes to all of you!!!

No Colors Allowed!

I will keep this very short. I need to understand why is that this year all fall/winter clothes are only black or gray! It seems like having any sort of color is some sort of sin! I need my purples, blues, greens, and pinks to coordinate with my black! However no matter in which store I go it seems they can only offer sweaters, pants and shirts in a melange of shades that goes from black to gray to sepia as the "wildest" of all. Are they trying to make us more conservative? Are they trying to make us all look the same? Is it a conspiracy to force us to be bland and blend amongst each other? Did they run out of colors in the dye shop they probably abuse in China or India? I protest! I want some colors in the shops, or I might be forced to go 1980's vintage on all of you and look like a fool (which of course I'm not afraid of).

My 2010

I can't believe this year is almost gone. It has been such a new cycle of my life. I moved for the first time by myself to a city where I knew absolutely nobody. In less than a year I can say it has been rich of positive surprises. I met some great people I already consider good friends I adore. Most of these people are actually my co-workers, which means I also really enjoy my new job. I even fell in love with my new apartment and its surroundings.
I admit that the last couple of years have not been easy. I left all my beloved friends behind to be closer to my family, and it was truly heart-breaking at first. But I can say now that leaping into a new adventure has had very good results. I am a strong believer that change is good, and if you don't like it... well you just go on and change it again until you find a place, a role, a pace that you enjoy. Nothing is coincidental, everything in my life has happened for a reason... although I have always been conscious to be the one who choreographed my moves.
Short and sweet, my thoughts about 2010? I feel like the luckiest mutherfu#%er! Why? Because aside from anything material which is useless in my philosophy, no matter where in the world I have lived for long or short times I have always been blessed to meet some of the most amazing people in my life. This note is for all of you my Love Bugs all over the globe. I love you all and I am so thankful to have you in my life! The connection I have with my "Circle of Trust" is the most beautiful gift on earth! Thank you and smooches to you all!

Winter Rant...

Some of you might want to correct me by stating "it's not winter yet...", but in my opinion due to the freezing temperatures it's full winter. For goodness' sake it has already snowed three times! I have come to the conclusion that winter is the most high maintenance season of all. This is my list of things I need to worry about in this weather (something I had never really thought about my past years spent in the "tropics").


CLOTHES & SHOES
OMG! I know I have a thing already for shopping and a pure obsession for shoes... but in winter (especially if you live in fashionable Milan), you need to triple you shopping sprees! Let's start with the shoes, you need at least one pair of (if in fake leather even better in my opinion): one flat boot in black leather, one flat boot in brown leather, one high heels black leather, one higher black vinyl, one platform gray suede boot, one "UGGly" boot, one snow/water repellent boot, one half calf faux-fur lined suede boot, one rubber boot, one black lace up high heels, one purple high heel (or whichever color you like), a couple of pairs of shoes to go out at night, running shoes to keep in shape at the gym, and always a last minute shoe to match the latest outfit.
As you have now collected at least 19 pair of boots... you need to have all of your pants tight enough to fit inside of them! Well, now you have to forget about your boot cut jeans and prepare to squeeze into skinny jeans, skinny jockey's style pants, leggings of various colors to match your wide range collection of sweater-dresses! Of course you also need to have several types of jackets and coats... you need at least one that is water-proof, one that is super warm, a black or gray wool coat, a wind breaker, and something cute and fun to go out at night. Aren't we forgetting something? Hats, scarves and gloves! Make sure to have enough to match your coats and outfits. This is exhausting, and additionally you can barely move once you are all wrapped in layers of fabric just like an spring roll! I was obviously not born for such climate. I love feeling the breeze on my skin and having very little clothing on me... surprisingly though, I actually don't hate the cold. Maybe because it is sort of new to me. I just realize that my wardrobe has to expand exaggeratedly.


However I do need to really complaint about something. I really can't STAND, in fact I HATE women who "need" to have any sort of real fur on their clothing! Being the animal lover that I am, I find it ridiculous, cruel and absurd that nowadays those women still insists on wanting to cover themselves with the fur of innocent dead creatures! Why? There are plenty of materials that will keep you just as warm. Plus it looks disgusting! It really angers me to no end! I can't believe that farming animals for their fur is still legal.

MAKE-UP & HAIR
In summer my make-up consists of eye-liner, shadow, mascara and little shimmer. Sorry, that does not work now! Suddenly my skin is overly dry and sucks up the moisturizer in ultra-sonic speed! Plus the chilly air makes me blotchy and red... so I need to get a good foundation. All in a sudden my simple make up routine has turned into a professional photo shoot "painting job"! Even my hair is rebelling to the weather condition, and it now requires all sort of moisturizing and protective products. I admit I even bought a hair dryer!!!

FOOD & EXERCISE
The cold also makes you crave warm and starchy foods, which of course are not nice if they start to settle on you like little hanging mini tacos! But can you really eat salads in winter? I can't! Therefore to maintain a decent shape you must exercise. Here one more proof that this is a high maintenance season. In summer you can go for a run in the park, go swimming in the sea or the pool... now you need to go to a gym. Once you sign up you are ready to enter a whole new world of ways to spend money (additionally to the gym's subscription). One quick glance at the classes calendar is enough to convince me I "must" take: flamenco, capoeira, yoga, spinning, aqua gym... and guess what? I need a whole wardrobe for those too!!!


SPORTS & GETAWAYS
Awww the mountains! How about learning to snowboard and then liking it? This will possibly involve buying snow boots, pants, coat, glasses, gloves, a snowboard and boots (which you can rent as well), a sky pass, the lessons, and enough cash for the post-snowboard drinks by the refuge...

At this pace I might need to get a part time job on the side to absorb all these wild wonder winter expenses... or maybe next time I should move somewhere like Maldives where all I would need to wear is a bikini and sunscreen.

Appearances are VERY misleading!

Yesterday morning I was cheerfully walking back home from my grocery shopping extravaganza. I was on a main street buzzing with people and vehicles right by my house. I was slowly walking enjoying and absorbing everything I saw and encountered. Suddenly a brand spanking new Audi pulls over the sidewalk. The passenger door opens up and a very well dressed and elegant woman steps out. She is slim, with perfectly coiffed bleached blond hair and make up, she is wearing designer trendy clothing and high heels. She opens up the back passenger door and a lovely little girl covered in designer clothes matching her mommy jumps out. I instinctively glance over at the driver seat to reveal the image of the husband/father in his perfectly pressed shirt and confident posture... I think to myself with a pinch of envy (which is very unusual of me), I think "Wow, look at them! they are the perfect family, with the perfect jobs, the perfect car, the perfect daughter... is it real?". They seemed like they had come out from a glossy magazine ad. I interrupt my fantasizing about them, and tune into the reality of what they are doing... 'cause I'm nosy! The "lady" has stepped right in the middle of the sidewalk and she is holding her daughter in a very awkward way... while telling her "come on love, you will do it just like puppy dogs do! come on, like a woof woof!". To my awful surprise she is pulling her little girls pants down to her ankles and ordering her to pee in the middle of the sidewalk!!! Not to mention it's freaking COLD! And there are people walking by, cars... and how about a cafe' and three restaurants right there! Couldn't she have taken her to use the cafe's restroom? I have never seen even the gypsies do that! You better believe I gave her a dirty look! It's not about being prude, it's about manners and not treating your 4 year old little girl as a dog! Needless to say my myth of the perfect family instantly crashed... at least in the human genre... I have more faith in the baboons' perfect family!

USA men vs Italian men

A few days ago I was having a conversations with some Italian girlfriends of mine. I was stating that the majority of my friends are usually men; I feel more comfortable around them, I trust them more, and I don't have to worry about hurting their feelings if I need to confront them about something. Then I also have a minority of great girlfriends too that out stand from the rest of the "female crowd". It just seems (please know I'm talking out of my own experience therefore my statements are purely personal), as I was saying: it just seems that a lot of times I have had a girlfriend the friendship has often ended up badly due to jealousy, hypocrisy, or falseness. Are women intimidated by me? The dumb ones of course! I guess that involuntarily I shake the worst behaviors towards my own person out of some females! This is something I had to start experiencing since childhood, my male teachers and male school mates always loved me... my female teachers and female school mates could not stand me! I am talking in percentage of course.
As I was saying I have always had wonderful honest friendships with men, whether they are straight or gay. It's not just about partying, good and strong friendship are formed by exchanging stories, asking for moral support, advise, having hours long conversations about anything from physics to politics, or society and nature, human behavior or just plainly venting about your day or family.
My two Italian girlfriends after hearing me say all this, they looked at me as if I was delusional and some mad spirit was talking through my mouth! At which point they asked me: "Are you talking about your friends in the US?".... well I guess that after living abroad for the past 15 years most of my friends are actually not Italian... which makes me feel strange... but that is a whole other story and blog I will need to write about.
From what they stated in Italy is not possible for a man and a woman to have a sincere friendship (that is ABSURD to me!). Additionally they said that men are very boring to be friends with as they don't read anything, they only watch soccer on tv, and talk about T&A... that is the description of a cave-man! Can Italian men have regressed to this point? Really? This country has given birth to some of the most amazing geniuses... yet our average man is only interested in looking at a ball rolling on a field or staring at some big hooters? What happened to the theory of the Ugly American? Has it reversed? Are American men the new intellectuals? And we have now a new breed of Ugly Europeans? That is terrifying!!! I don't like that one bit! I will need to research this further. While I will do so, I would like to calm some of you down by guaranteeing that no matter what fortunately the gays are safe! It seems to me that gay men are brilliant, cultured and wonderful to talk to not matter on which side of the Atlantic you are on. Once one is a fruit fly, she will be one forever no matter where she is!

Dreams in two or three levels are my reality!

Any of my close friends know how fascinated and passionate I am about "dreams". From talking to various people in my life I've come to the realization that I belong to a very exclusive club: "I remember my dreams when I wake up" Club. Every night I look forward to my dream-reality where anything can happen... although I mastered this art so well that I now can change the course of events by "waking up" into another dream! I swear I'm not joking, I'm not drunk nor high!
Needless to say I could not wait to go see "Inception". I was blown away, I think it's pure genius. It's such an intricate and beautifully told story that I doubt the general public really gets it. In fact I would love to run one of my anthropological research tests... to draw the statics of how many people fully got it.
Not knowing how many of you have already seen it, I don't want to spoil it. All want to say is that some details in script freaked me out, because it was so personal and familiar to my own experiences... if someone wrote about it must have gone through the same madness... through the subconscious gateway... a gateway to dreaming in levels like I do.
Aside from the story, I also really enjoyed the acting, the cast is exceptional! What a surprise to see the kid from "3rd rock form the sun" (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) in such a cool role! And of course the magic of Christopher Nolan as a writer and director! What a creative brilliant mind he has... although has anyone noticed that he sort of looks like Leonardo Di Caprio... or is it me? Please take a look:

"The Difficult Love Between Muslims And Non-Believers"

I once again would like to share my thoughts on the last book I've read. It's a very easy reading piece about a man, the writer himself Martino Pillitteri, and his experience of a lifetime in the Islamic world. The original title in Italian "Quando le musulmane preferiscono gli infedeli" (When the Muslim women prefer the unfaithful), I think is such a better title than "The difficult love between Muslims and non-believers". The actual translation calls them "unfaithful", and it's not referred in a way of not being faithful to a partner, but it means to have no faith in Allah, I just think it's way more powerful. On a technical point of view the book is very easy to read although some parts drag a bit, and make you want to scream "I get it! I got the point!". Aside from that the whole story is full of humor and insight in a world that has by now surrounded us all, but maybe we are still so foreign to their life styles. I'm referring to the Islamic countries. We know in theory, we know what we read and hear on the news. But few of us have had the opportunity as the lead character of this book to experience it fully. I'm not talking about taking a trip to Morocco or having a job in Dubai. The story evolves around a young Italian man who loves working and living in NYC and then finds him in Egypt to follow the love of his life.

As soon as Martino starts his romance with the Egyptian beauty, we discover that those women are in charge. Something we don't often think about. They will tell their man when they want to be married, they will make them pay for their dinners and all of their friends' too! I honestly think it's quite funny. But the biggest deal seems to be around faith and religion, and how a non-Muslims must convert in order to be even considered to take part to a family and marry their daughter. Martino makes it look like they are so different from the Western world.... are they really? I'm not so sure! I was just on the bus yesterday, right here in Milan... which is considered to be the most progressive city in Italy. There was a man chatting with the bus driver, he kept on complaining that his daughter "by disgrace" has started to date the son of some Diplomat from the Syrian Embassy. He kept on repeating that although he was a very nice guy, very smart, with a good future ahead career wise... well, he could not stand the fact that he would not convert to become a Catholic!!! Here is the proof that we are all the same! We can wear different clothes, physically cover our faces or not, judge others by their customs... but in the end we all wear some sort of Hijab or Burka that blocks us from fully understanding or fully accepting others.

However I do highly recommend to read his book. It's brilliant, as he shows all the different types of people he has to deal with. Although I would like to point out one more thing before I try not to ruin the story for all of you; I don't understand why he keeps on complaining about how "puritan" and strict they are... from his story he seems to have gotten laid quite a bit from several different Arab girls on his short stay in Egypt... while he was supposed to be engaged to his beautiful Noor. No wonder the doorman of his apartment complex would play tricks on him, such as turn off his hot water! Did that just make you wonder? Nope, nothing to wonder about! Men are Men! They want it, they want it now, and then once they got it they will still complain and pretend to be the ones who got ripped off!

People in my memory wait in stillness.

I probably am not the only one who has experienced this strange feeling. There have been times I have said goodbye to a friend, even if just for the night or even if it was meant to be a 'see you later' sometime in the future (due to my multiple moves), and starting from a few moments later they are in dragged into my present and months to come... I still picture that person exactly where I left them. Whether they were by a sidewalk, or on the door of their house, or at a party. Somehow I'm unable to disconnect to that last image I have had of them. I maybe romantically and absurdly convince myself that they will be exactly where I left them. I'm talking about all my friends I have spread around the globe. They don't age, they don't move from where I last saw them, they just sit still like a photograph on a shelf waiting to be picked up and dusted.

What just made me think of this? I've been aware of this way of thinking of mine for a while. Maybe it's a some sort of shield I use to protect myself. As long I believe my loved ones are exactly where I left them I have no worries. I will miss them but I will find them back in the exact same shape and location... maybe it's my obsessive compulsive disorder that surfaces even in my way of remembering people.

I once again ask myself: What made me think of this? Believe it or not that monster tool called Facebook is to blame! As you all know it loves to give you a preview of people you might know. Well I accidentally saw some people I used to know... and to my surprise... TOTAL SURPRISE!!!.... their children who were born right before I moved abroad... they are now almost 20 years old! WTF??? Weren't they supposed to stay babies forever? This is what happened before the Facebook era. You just were clueless of the time going by. Everything remained the same as you left it and survived in your memory in a dream like ever green state. Not anymore, now all these social networks have to remind me that time does go by, people change, they move, they even grow up without my permission!!!

I'm not sure I like all this technology sometime. Now I feel old... which makes me feel restless. Why can't we stop time? Why can't we time travel? I feel like all the people I know have a clone who still and always will live in my memory universe where nothing ever ages.

Are Classy Places Just So Trashy?

Have you ever noticed how the classiest and most elite places at some point always end up attracting the trashiest crowd? If a place is a dive from the beginning, it will remain a dive forever, there is no chance that it will upgrade to be a "creme de la creme" place. However when an extra hot spot opens up, it's just a matter of months if not weeks before all the Riff-Raff will happily put roots in the new "hard to get in" 5 Star Hotel Lounge. Those places are polluted with "high class" hookers! They are everywhere and I assure you they are NOT classy! They look beat down, with their plastic surgery gone bad, teeny-tiny outfits that make them look like they are 15 years old... until you get a closer look and almost a heart attack from the encounter with the real MUMMY! Can we say: Horrifying? Are they there just to find their next victim? Don't these women have goals or pride or self-esteem? Women like that make me feel ashamed to be a woman! They are just there, hoping to find men who will buy them expensive label crap and more silicone for their ridiculously deformed lips. Men who frequent those lounges are not much better material. They will only look for women who lack in gray matter... therefore they happily and successfully hunt for the available females who will laugh at their dumb and predictable jokes.
I thought that by going there I would meet intelligent people with good careers I could relate to. I was hoping to meet people who can handle a conversation that stimulates my curiosity and lights up my creativity. Yet I found myself yawning... or laughing thanks to my good sense of humor.

My belief is: Money will not make smart nor beautiful. Having a Dior, or Chanel, or whoever else's purse has a price tag, it can be very high, but it still has a price... having a brain and the ability to use it: PRICELESS!!! And this is where I somehow get upset! How come I'm not a millionaire? I'm much smarter than most of the people I scouted there!!!

The "Horses" Race = The 2 Sides of Milan

Milan is one of this city that has a dramatically split personality's society. One side is jammed with people who are eager to fight for people's rights and protest the government in every artistic way they can imagine; the the other side is highly enjoying the actual situation while showing off their branded belongings. They are two tribes. Just as tribes they distinguish themselves with their looks and behaviors. As I must always be extreme in all my choices and decisions I have managed once again to mix myself in both crowds... moved by my curiosity, my hunger to learn, and my acceptance and interest in understanding people's choices.
Therefore a couple of weeks ago I decided to go visit the two big famous Milan's race horses! LeonCavallo vice JustCavalli!!!

My Friday Night at LeonCavallo.
LeonCavallo is a made up word that literally translated means "LionHorse". It's the largest Cummnunity Center in Milan. This is not the typical community center you will find in the States... it an enormous establishment who has been taking over by local citizens, some of them even live there! The center is huge, it has several rooms that can be used for theatrical performances, concerts, meetings, parties, book readings... you get the point. They even offer a funky library and a every smoky and greasy diner... and a potent smell of pot! It's a mixture of older people who want to talk politics and be serious, younger people who live in a hippie/rastah way, artists who want to express themselves and a bunch of immigrants mostly from Africa. Somehow they all seem to get along, and they all call each other "amico" of "fratello" (buddy or brother). It's funny how a place that has such a bad reputation for being the center of protests and always in the target of authorities (who would love to shut them down), it just feels so relaxed and laid back. They don't care who you are, where you come from, and what you do for living. They urge to talk about famous writers, philosophers, politicians, history, story about their travels and exchanging ideas. How inspiring and cool! How ironic that my father has always been SO scared of such places.

My Saturday Night at JustCavalli.
Do you want to experience the total opposite? Here we go! This is a fancy club whose owner is nonetheless fashion designer Roberto Cavalli. You must be on the list! I am! You must dress to impress! I did! You (especially women) must be hot! Well, I wore enough make up and black clothing to pass! And most important of all you must ACT! And I mean: Act Like An Ass! I excel in this too... just for fun! I never saw so many girl models all in one place. They are probably still in their teens, with their beautiful flawless skin, never ending legs, and austere look on their faces. There are tons of men who are wildly jumping around to the beat of the techno music in hope to be seen by the goddesses... and all in a sudden I just crack up laughing! I get this picture in mind where the models are beautiful giraffes and the older, shorter, not so attractive men are hyenas with rabies trying to get at least to lick their thin ankle! This is so pathetic yet hilarious. Around them there a few completely fucked on coke individuals who have no clue what to do with themselves as they are waaaaayyy too alert by 5am! And while wearing the Armani suits they think "how about i punch this asshole?". The atmosphere was very tense and stressful, especially around the many not so young ladies with their giant plastic boobs and lips who would give your the look of death if you dared to dance too close to their sugar-daddy!

In the end, from this research I can assure you there is something for everyone's taste here!

Expecting the unexpected can be predictably disappointing.

I was always against this internet dating deal. Then a few weeks ago I gave in, moved by 2 main reasons.
1) I’m getting tired of being single, I would like to find someone fun to share experiences with, and for once of the opposite sex and straight… just for a change! So I decided to follow my friends’ advice to give it a try. As I can’t be judging something I don’t know… I decided I had to try it personally in order to form an opinion about it.
2) I thought this would be a really interesting anthropological experimental research as a subject to blog about.

I started to think that after all it is quite difficult to find a partner while working long hours and having a very busy life schedule (main reason why I have purposely chosen to be single during the last few years). I also realized that bars and clubs are infested with horny drunks whose main goal is to score a one night stand they will barely remember about 4 hours later. So why have such prejudice against online dating? The hell with it! I had to try it. I like to premise that this goes completely against my whole philosophy on life; how things happen for a reason and how coincidences do not exist, on this I feel close to the way of thinking of Carl Gustav Jung.

Finding Mr Right online is pure utopia.

Internet dating is like grocery shopping online. First you look at the pictures sort of like looking at packaging, then you take a closer look at the ingredients (their profile description) in hope to find something in common. While I’m taking my time browsing around I start to get an avalanche of Chat requests, Private messages, notifications of hundreds of men consulting my profile, half of them declare to have a Crush on me already! It’s very alarming, and I don’t know what to do! I feel like a whore in a window in the red light district in Amsterdam! All I did was put two pictures of me, both just of my face one in black and white and a color one. I filled some of the mandatory fields, but I did not even write anything personal about me. At this point I can barely keep up reading the messages, denying the chat requests from all the freaks, and wondering how they can have a crush on me if they don’t know me!!!

Overview on some of the most bizarre messages:

Yuri, is very old, ugly, so serious he looks pissed off
“Wonderful woman, stupendous creature, you are my dream... can I meet you?” NO, NEVER, NOT A CHANCE IN THE WORLD! Didn’t I specify I was looking for a specific type and age range? Grumpy, unattractive male in his 70s was to on the list!!!

“ziopollo” has a crush on me? How can i like someone who calls himself “unclechicken”?

Ok, are my standards too high? I can’t be interested in a hairdresser… sounds gay, and I already have my favorite gays to hang with… I don’t want one who pretends to be straight to probably please his conservative family.
How about a man who is 40 and he is a secretary/personal assistant? Sorry, that makes me think he’s not ambitious nor worth my time…

Or the hottie who posts as the main profile picture one from when he was 20? Then you go through his pix and he has gracefully aged into an attractive man in his 40s… but the idea of how vain he is to keep as his main picture the one from the past makes me want to run away.

Mr Dork just doesn’t care and I feel so bad for him, like I want to hug him… but not really! His candor does warm my heart for about 5 seconds, obviously I’m shallow!
“Hi, I moved here for work. I have never been engaged nor married. I love movies, cooking. I signed on this site to find a partner to share everything with. So far I have had not good results as nobody replies to me. I would be the luckiest man in the world if you did. Thank you for reading my message”... he is so pathetic, he makes me feel bad. And he makes me think… what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong to this dimension.

This is the land of freaks, where Javier Barden is very popular on profile pictures!

Are they all desperate? Are they just horny? How many are serious? How do they choose the pictures they post? Like mug shots?! This is quite a scary world. Much scarier than meeting random strangers in bars. You don’t know what they really look like, you can not trust them, you don’t know what their voice sounds like nor what their real intentions are other than the obvious human urges that they would like to pursue.
Why would you put pictures where you look a bit stupid, or your friends are crazy, or you are with your grandparents, or from when you shaved you head and it was not a good idea? Or freaky man who looks like a witch! Or vampire and wolfman…. Monster?
Bad picture = NO CHAT Just as No picture = no chat!

I fear this is such a waste of my time! I also fear to be found by some coworkers who will think I’m here out of desperation… not knowing my real intentions.

By day 2 I start getting a bit ballsier and I reply to a few chat requests…I just pissed one off. I was sort of sarcastic of the fact that he has been on this dating site since 2008 and he quit chatting. Dating site dudes are too sensitive! OMG then they get anxious and think they are the only ones chatting with you! Hello!!??? I chat with my real friends on FB a lot more… this is starting to be stressful and unpleasant!

Another guy is mad at me because I had not replied to his previous message!!!
“I will try again in a different way: I’m mean, selfish, give everything for granted and I’m boring. I’m always dull, not a good listener and my only passion is football. I don-t know how to court a woman I find too hard and I have no personality. Since this is the second time I try to contact you my dear Viola and if you won’t reply, then you really don’t like anything! I tried everything to impress you and be your ideal man, but you hold a hearty of stone! What can I say? Goodbye, I wish you to find what you’re looking for…. Although I already know I’m madly jealous already of the one who will get you!” ….. I need to delete this site soon!

A Japanese Micheal Jackson is in love with me too!

How do I feel about a man who writes highlighting in pastel colors and puts shimmering stars at the beginning and end of his phrases…. And he-s obsessed by the 2012 end of the world!

Then a guy who was the first I had replied to a chat request during the first week, pops back up. I follow my instinct and reply… before I know it we chat for hours! The same happens the following night. I start to think this might be fun. He’s handsome, intelligent, well spoken, good sense of humor, has a good career…. I agree on talking to him on the phone. Once again we spend a few hours for a couple of nights talking about our lives, goals, hobbies, dreams. What is wrong? How come his wife left him? Is it true? And is he also playing hard to get… Do I believe him? How stupid should I be to fall in the same trap again. When men are too charming and play out as the ones who have lost their trust in women… it’s lights up my emergency red alert in my head. However it’s too late for me to be 100% rational and I accept to go on a date with him… this is the most stressful experience ever. AS I was approaching the café where we were going to meet, I kept thinking he would have looked nothing like the guy in the picture I have been talking to. I almost escaped but that is when he arrived…. And I was happily surprised that he looked even better in person!The following week we went on a second date, and again we had lovely time. He’s a total gentleman, he doesn’t even try a move on me…. Which being a woman it’s flattering yet disappointing (maybe cause American men don’t waste time). Yet, I would have been bothered if he had tried to make a move… that goes to explain how women are never happy! Men are poison, love is poison… and lust is lethal. My ego is able to swallow me in one big gulp! I don’t like the game of who’s calling first, is he into me? Will I see him again? So why would I put myself through that again on purpose? Why should I? I delete my dating site account, it’s NOT my thing.

I prefer to go back to my master plan of pure research. Re-open it under a male alter ego and successfully complete a fun blog about this experience.

Men did not make me sad. But women did. With my new male alter ego I started to browse around the dating site world of women. They looked so pretty and hopeful. They chose their best pictures to post on their profiles. I started to feel guilty. As if I was intruding in their bedroom as a real douche-bag.

Being a guy sucks, I couldn’t even see who visited my profile unless I would compromise to pay a fee… which I refused to. I can only visit 5 profiles a day as a man. Women are much less aggressive. Only 2 women a night visited my profile. They are probably too busy fending off all the crazy requests coming their way. There are also a good number of very young girls who use the network as a way to promote their porn sites… I suddenly feel even sadder.

This was a very strange experience for me. I have learned that following my instinct is key to my being.

I'm retiring from Disco Nights!

I'm over it... my disco night's life has expired! I have been going out as a night owl for so long, and it has always been very fun. So how does it happen that all in a sudden one night I realize that I'm totally over it, DONE! I'm not saying I'm not going out anymore, I do still highly enjoy going to bars, cafes, restaurants, lounges... but last night while been in a club, as we still call them in Italy "discoteca", I just found myself bored, annoyed, and frustrated. I used to love to be smashed around by hundreds of sweaty bodies while drinking, smoking, and jumping around like a maniac. Instead last night I felt like I was a hot-dog in an air tight pack! I couldn't even move, I couldn't breathe, the smoke was awful, and the drinks too strong! When did I ever complain about having a drink too strong? Suddenly I was also possessed by this fear that I was the oldest one in there, that I must look ridiculous... the average age was 24! I thought "What am I doing here? Who am I kidding? This is awful and I don't belong here anymore....". I then took a trip to the bathroom, and there were tons of girls who looked so stressed out while fixing their make-up and hair in front of the mirror. They were probably about 19 years old... but the sunken in look on their faces... who clearly have been abusing a bit too much the partying... made them look like grouchy ladies in their 60s. That vision made me feel a bit better, as I thought "Hell, I look way better than them, and I'm almost 20 years older". I walked out of the bathroom with a big smile on my face.

Today was the final decision of officially retiring from disco nights. Today I have done NOTHING! I have been completely useless! Something that bothers me to no end. It was a gorgeous warm and sunny day... and I laid around at home like a moron! That's it, I have had a wonderful time in the past years clubbing, and I surely don't want to spoil it by hating it. Therefore I have a theory that if something is not fun anymore, it must be stopped. I much rather use the money to go see a good play.

Wow, this decision suddenly makes me feel so grown up... I'm a big girl now! Please know that this does not mean I will start Bingo Nights now!!!

Do I have to go to LA to vote for the Italian elections?

SECOND ITALIAN CLASH...
As many of you know by now, I have lived abroad over the last decade or so. I'm one of those people who strongly believes that every vote counts. I love politics, doing my research before an election comes up, and I usually get pretty involved about my likings. With this said, it is easy to understand that although not physically in Italy, I have always made sure I was registered with the AIRE in order to vote.

Throughout the years I registered my residence in Norfolk VA, Orlando FL, Los Angeles CA, and London UK. It has always been a very easy process that instantly registers you in your new abroad residence. I once remembered to register myself the week before the elections... and I still received my voting card in time.

I moved to Milan on February 2nd, and on February 5th I went to register my new residence. I was told it would take officially 6 months to be active. However I was given a letter that suggested I was able to get my doctor, and prove my physical residence in Lombardy. Today the city hall was open to help people who have not yet received the voting card. I forgot to mention tomorrow and Monday we are having the regional elections. I went to get my voting card.... but I was turned down! I was told I must wait the 6 months before I can have the darn voting card. So I asked the lady-clerk "where should I go voting? back in LA or London?". She answered affirmative! So basically she was telling me that it's easier as an Italian citizen to vote abroad for Italian elections rather than in your own country! That makes NO sense!!! I registered myself about 2 months ago! Why does it take so long? I got so aggravated with the situation that I raised my voice and said "So as an Italian citizen by birth, as a punishment for having lived abroad for some time, I now have no right to vote at least temporarily. Isn't that against our constitution?". She freaked out while looking around as if I was crazy. She kept on repeating to me that "You're not a resident of the region of Lombardy yet!"... right, but I'm not a resident of Sardinia either since 1993! So in reality not only I can't vote, I have no region to vote for!

This is causing me so much aggravation I will get an ulcer!